Honestly I’ve had enough. He’s been out twice already, it’s still pushing 24 degrees at midnight, and the moon looks like it’s auditioning for a horror film. Took this pic earlier out there on the fence, surveying the garden like some Victorian railway magnate eyeing up new colonies.

I hate to say it but orange male cats really are the white men of the cat world. The entitlement. The unearned confidence. The absolute inability to just sit still and reflect. He’s already on two confirmed kills this week and now he’s pacing like he’s plotting a coup. It’s giving Night of the Long Mice energy. Operation Whiskerstorm. Full lunar madness.

And I’ve got other concerns, too. The family in the opposite garden just moved in — I think they’re migrants, not sure where from exactly but the woman wears a head covering. Lovely people from what I can tell, but I worry they might be a bit off with him. He keeps staring into their garden like he’s running some sort of covert operation and I don’t want him causing offence. I’ve read all those posts online about “pet privilege” and I don’t want to be that neighbour, you know?

He’s microchipped. Fully insured. Weighted blanket. Ceramic water fountain. Lives like an absolute king. But still I’m the one sat here googling “how to tell if your cat is radicalising under a full moon.”

Anyway, he’ll probably waltz back in later for some Dreamies and act like nothing happened. I’ll try to explain we don’t solve disputes through violence, but I know it won’t stick.


Cat with Problematic Views - Starting to think he’s plotting something serious tonight