Eating his cum easily

How do you eat your sperm easily? Because every time I want to eat my sperm, I come up against constraints:

• Legs above the head, very messy and risk of leaving sperm in the hair;
• In the hand, risk of getting it everywhere and having your hand stick;
• In a hood, too expensive in the long run;
• In a cardboard or plastic cup, it is noisy;
• In a glass it's boring to clean it afterwards...

Give me your advice or solution because I don't live alone and what's more I want to become addicted to my sperm 😭