Left behind

Hey y'all. I'm a newbie Sales Consultant.

I just started Academy A. I had to go to my father's memorial and I ended up with 2 medical flare-ups. I missed some key practice opportunities and some valuable information. I was lucky to have my class buddies share notes with me. That kind of helped. But... I am now full-time on phones with the occasional meeting for something, and I am having the worst, crippling anxiety of my life. I'm not new to call centers. I'm not new to having to adjust to new policies and stuff. I'm not new to needing additional training. But... I am physically SHAKING at my desk, on a call, and my voice just starts crackling. I can place the customer on hold and say "Hey, I need to research something. I'll place you on a brief hold" and then just try to chug ice water or squish my little animal squishies (or my emotional support squishy boob ball or the flesh-toned floppy, squishie dick - best adult store finds ever)! I will try to take deep breaths to slow the shaking or my heart rate. But none of the coping skills I have haven't been working well enough for me. I always end up taking an anxiety tablet. I don't like taking that medicine. I'm at work and I don't want a controlled substance pulsing through my veins and brain and maybe make me a ball of mush. I could still be useful, but most of the time I just have to tough out the anxiety during work and take the meds after to calm before bed.

I have asked for additional help. Many people in my class last week TRASHED the whole process. We all felt like we weren't very well prepared or taught. It was kind of a mixed bag of newbie sales consultants, and previous producers. We said we needed more time and practice, or maybe give us a couple of days to shadow a tenured person.

I have the steps broken down and lined out on my Sticky Notes. If I could change KM to dark mode, I wouldn't have issues reading it and following it down. I just have to copy info from the pages, paste them in my outline, and change the color.

sigh The IT issues too. This has been the 3rd time we have tried to fix my VM. If it's slow tomorrow, they're going to have to send me a new one.

I mean, Progressive is great as a company. Many of the HR and Business Unit stuff is kinda trippy here because my previous employers had HR handle all accommodations and decisions. But here, HR can recommend to the Business Unit, and the BU can reject. :/ That hasn't happened to me yet. I am grateful for what was approved :) Progressive is a great place to work. But... I'm an a anxious mess pounding my head into the wall. 😭