Really need advice with parents not liking partner

Hi. So I (25F) recently found out my parents aren’t the biggest fans of my boyfriend (23M) who I’ve been with for over a year. I’ve never really had this issue before and this is also the first boyfriend I’ve been genuinely serious about. Like we have future plans to move in and everything.

My mom can be really judgmental and honestly I’ve had the feeling from the jump she never really liked him. Her only reasoning was that she thinks it “won’t get any better than this” and “I have so much going for me and he’s just there” among other hurtful comments. I’ve also corrected her many times on what he does for his job but I’m pretty sure she thinks he’s in a dead end career (he’s not. He’s also 23 so wtf). She apparently is also mad he’s never sent a physical thank you note for the one Christmas present she gave him.

My dad just thinks he’s not a great conversationalist and said he needs to be more “involved and engaged”. Yes he’s more introverted than my family is (we all talk over each other and he kind of just sits and waits for a break in conversation which personally I think is fine, he’s not withdrawn or on his phone or anything)

He recently attended a family event with me and met a ton of my extended family and the kicker is that they all had the opposite things to say about my boyfriend. They all think he’s polite and respectful and great to talk to.

This has lead to a giant disagreement between my mom and I and while my dad is open to giving him a fair shot, my mom and I aren’t speaking. I’m very torn up about this and I’ve told her I’m willing to discuss it but she also needs to take accountability for the pain she caused me and not just say she’s “sorry I’m in pain.” This isn’t going to be something that just blows over without a discussion. I also just feel horribly guilty when it comes to my boyfriend having to deal with this as well. It just feels out of the blue as they had met him several times before this last event.

I’m just in pain and crying a lot as I never thought I’d be in this situation and if anyone has any advice about setting boundaries and dealing with this, I’d appreciate it.

Edit: forgot to mention this is a throwaway, I’m active in some fandoms that would make my main account pretty identifiable and I know I have some family/friends that lurk on Reddit