I want to sleep and wake up on 13dpo just not to waste my time

I’m 9dpo today and it’s stark white

It’s so annoying.

I know people say I was negative until 12-14 but I even see the faintest line on their 9dpo tests I swear I should at least see something by now :,(

I should be greatful I have a child but I just want this next one so bad there already going to be years apart and I tested 8dpo with her