I constantly cringe at myself and it’s ruining too much

I’m a pretty socially confident and bubbly person, I don’t have any real big problems about myself except this one thing. I cringe way too much at myself, over things I’ve either said or done. Sometimes they aren’t even that embarrassing but I still have this painful feeling that it’s not just I did something awkward but I AM Awkward, I AM an embarrassment and people like me less because of it.

The other day I went on this date with this Guy, and he was great in so many ways. Everything was going great and I’m pretty sure he liked me too. We ate and had a good time and it was time to pay, and being a woman who haven’t been on many dates since I’ve only been in serious relationships aren’t completely comfortable with a man paying too much for my meal the first time we meet.

Obviously I was very grateful and I showed it, but instead of just accepting it and enjoy the rest of the date I assured him that I wanted to pay for the bowling and drinks later, which he refused but I just laughed and said it’s okey I have money, we laughed and I didn’t think much of it until we got there. He went to the toilet and I went up to the counter to pay for the bowling etc. He joined beside me but when he saw that i reached to pay he said in a bit serious tone “I’ll pay for it, stop it now”

And i know you might think, what’s the big deal just smile and be grateful, he was being a gentleman. And trust me I’d wish I could just smile and be grateful. But my stupid ass brain tells me to feel embarrassed instead, now I’m thinking instead that he actually might find it annoying that I wanted to pay. Maybe he was scared he wouldn’t come off as a gentleman in front of the cashiers, or that he might take offense that I thought he couldn’t pay for it, since he apparently owns businesses. But I genuinely wanted to pay because you still never know that situation someone’s in, and I truly have money so it’s no big deal 😂 But now I just feel as if it came off as a desperate attempt to make up for the expensive dinner, and now i just cringe over myself again.

Everything’s fine between us we text daily and plan to meet again but i just can’t stop thinking about it. Why am i like this🥲 as i said before I’m usually a very confident person and I don’t have any problem putting myself out there, but I guess that’s the reason I constantly have new things to cringe about.

Any advice?