I've lost count

I've 26f and I've lost count how many stroke and TIAs I've had since I was 22. Kinda just venting.

I've got heart disease in the plethora. It's just a part of my life at this point. No sense freaking out every time something happens. I only get serious about it when that "sense of impending doom" hits. Okay...for the sake of my coworkers I'll remove myself until it passes.

I had another today at work. I woke up feeling weird. About 30 minutes into my shift and the right side of my face was feeling...off. Not droopy or heavy yet, but tunnel vision in the eye and tingly. A coworker just commented that I didn't look well and I said my face felt weird but joked that maybe it's just a stroke, I didn't want to freak her out. One of my other coworkers laughed along with me and said "Dang what a time for another one, your speech just got better!" I laughed cuz he was right. I had a full blown one back in February that really did a number on me.

About 5 minutes later my eye doesn't just droop, it's blinking/twitching like a firecracker. Like my eyelid has gone rogue. Completely uncontrollable. My face goes completely numb. I can't really feel it but I KNOW my mouth drooped because my female coworker panicked and said to my male coworker "Oh my goodness, her face!" Yup, time to remove myself.

I set down my work and went to the restroom and proceeded to splash water on my face until I could feel the water droplets in my eye and feel it on my right side. This is in all of about 5 minutes. My right shoulder was mildly numb so I did most of the splashing with my left (not dominant) hand. Water has previously worked in helping me relax and it worked again.

I went back out to my work station and when they asked if everything was okay I just said "yeah it's all good. Probably just a little TIA, you know, those mini strokes. But I'm fine, they don't last long. They come every few months or so. No reason to freak out." We all get back to work and I was noticably slow for the rest of the day but they let me take it easy. I took a 2.5hr long nap after work until my fiance got home.

That was around 0700 this morning. It's currently 7:10pm now. I can still have this weird phantom sensation (not really pain) around my right eye. I know it's just cuz my eyelid was so twitchy that it kinda wore itself out but still weird.

Why I didn't go to the doctor? Insurance expired, I'm getting on a new one in a couple weeks once I get married. Even then, I'm not interested in diving anymore into this stuff because it's just really taxing. Not treatment is available for me right now.

Why didn't I go home right away? Not safe to drive & couldn't get ahold of my fiance. Even if I could his job could not allow him to leave (military).

Why didn't I take it more seriously? At this point, why bother?