My mom leaves me tearful voicemails accusing me of tossing her aside, idk how to respond

Advice Request

I told my mom I need some space after getting into a heated argument with her about her bigotry against trans people a few weeks ago.

I’m still not ready to talk to her again. For years and years she has ignored my pleas for her to listen to me about right wing extremism and how much our country is vulnerable to fascism. Ever since Trump was elected I’ve tried giving her information so she’d be better informed before voting red. She’s ignored me every time, and at this point I’ve had enough. I can’t maintain this relationship without losing my sanity.

She left a very tearful voicemail just now asking how I can toss her aside when family matters above all. I haven’t even said anything to her beyond I need space. She always does this. She tries pulling me back by pleading and crying and I end up caving because I hate to hear her in pain. But then she acts like nothing happened and she doesn’t make any changes.

I need to cut her off entirely but I don’t know how without feeling cruel. I want to set a clear boundary and keep my distance. I’m exhausted by the back and forth. I’m not willing to compromise on my morals. Her pleas feel one sided, because I should matter as family too right? So why am I expected to always compromise while she makes no changes?

Do I respond to her or just maintain my silence?

Posted Jul 9, 2025, 11:14 PM UTC

5954
Loading comments…