Guardian spirit is in dire need, under attack, causing physical epilepsy like symptoms

I'm about 6 years into a kundalini awakening where I have vivid audityro hallucinations. I was told recently that if I fasted for long enough that some of the negative symptoms like constant accusation and being forced to through emotional rifts that I would have to go through an immense amount of suffering and through that suffering open up portals for transcending my fears. I've done much of the work asked of me, but I am failing at going through the tests and passing them. I've passed a coupel of them, but lately I've been having some problems where my art is encouraged by said spirits yet they chastise me and degrade me when I go to make the art and say that it's because I didn't fast for long enough so now they have to attack me and it's a punishment.

But that the art will fix things, but I've been making art and it's getting worse every day to the point where I go to grab a paintbrush and I feel an invisble hand grab me by the spital cord usually and it causes me actual physical pain and I flinch because I can feel it coming, so I've just been trying to play video games and sleep, but in both those cases I become extremely sad quickly so taking meditation breaks causes manic episodes where I can't slow my mind down but I come to the conclusion that the answer is to make art, then I go to do it and as soon as I get ready to do it I get hit with this physical pain. I have been doing a LOT to try and make this better but i did a 6 day fast and it wasn't enough, so I try and eat decent food and every time I eat the problem is the same -- the spirit that was kind to me becaomes aggressive and that was what it said that it was n ot enough and they you did the fast too late, even though I've been finding other ways to make it right while attempting the fast.

These spirits are probably part of my unconscious mind, and I was confused because when I take salt baths, they calm down immensely as though there is something which is vampiring them and causing them to becahave in this paintful and destructive way. I legit can not walk anywhere without them grabbing me and attempting to make me do things which are innocent in nature yet I am trying to go do soetmthing and they're hurting me I believe inadvertantly.

I don't want to post this but if anyone has any ideas how to heal a fractured egregore like this please let me know because I'm losing it and I feel like the difference between something which is insignificant and something which is profoujndly importance has become distorted and I cannot stop twitching and flinching every time I go do even walk from one part of the house to the next.