I had to cry silently in front of my mom just because of a $500 pc

Hello. My name is Gabriel, and I live in Brazil. I just had an anxiety attack. It all started when I was thinking about my bed as usual, until I started thinking about a computer I was looking at parts for. In the end, it totaled $500. I was thinking about how to raise that money since I'm a teenager, and finding a job where I live is kind of difficult. But everything started to snowball when I started thinking about how useless I am for not being able to find a job, and how much my mother would curse me if I asked her for a $500 computer. Until the word "useless" started to hammer in my head and I started crying, thinking about how incompetent my family thinks I am, and how incompetent I am just for not being able to buy what I want. I haven't cried in a long, long time, all because of that damn saying: "Men don't cry." Until my mother comes into the room and breaks the silence. I had to suppress my tears and pretend to be asleep. She lay down since we shared the same bed and used her cell phone while I lay there, holding back tears as I let out a few sobs. Stopping the crying seemed an impossible task, as the words "useless" and "incompetent" seemed to echo in my head, until I eventually stopped and thought about everything that had happened there, in the same place where I was previously having an anxiety attack.