Need advice, please and thank you

My wife (20) and I (22) are butting heads on a lot, primarily cell phone usage, general laziness, and splitting up chores. Littl backstory, married young cause of the military but knew each other for years before that, we live off base in a house and not an apartment. She is not employed, and is pregnant (however all this occurred regularly before pregnancy and I believe has only worsen since)

My complaint is she is constantly on her phone. Just about every second of the day, if she’s not on the phone she’s on the console playing games or watching you tube. Which then goes into the laziness, the house is generally disorderly, she almost never eats meals and when she does its door dashed (we have a car, one I bought for her and live not even 10 mins any which way from most places she door dashes) and if she doesn’t door dash and actually eats, it’s always unhealthy snacks.

I am the breadwinner and she brings in money every now and again through Facebook marketplace and selling some things we have. The bills for the house and cars, and for our budget (that has no savings btw) get completely paid for by my base pay+BAH for housing. I like many other military guys, do doordash/uber eats to try and get some extra cash and work usually from 4-6 when I get home, to 10-11 at night. (Mind you I’m up at 4 for pt and accountability) I also sell stuff on marketplace to try and get some cash rolling into our savings but it’s never enough. Constantly throughout the week when I come home exhausted I find out, she hadn’t done anything all day, or cleaned for a little, bought stuff with her own cash that we don’t need, and any combination of all that, I’ve seen it all. And to top it off, with dishes all dirty in the sink, laundry piled up in baskets or on the floor (the last one I absolutely cannot stand), she’ll ask if we can go out to eat. Does she offer to pay? Absolutely not, but she won’t hesitate to ask if we can eat at local steakhouses and pricy establishments. Remember when I said she won’t eat meals and will only snack during the day? She has no problem going out to get fast food before I come home, or even after I’m home because “ I didn’t get dinner ready” or she was hungry right then and there. I’m 100% against the woman having to do all the “wife” chores 100% of the time. I believe we can split things up to where the tasks being done can be done by both partners. Spread loading that often can’t be perfectly even in weight, heavy on her for a time, heavy on me for a time, etc.

I’m exhausted when I come home and usually extremely hungry from the long days the military makes us work, I don’t even get to have a minute to destress when I walk in before she’ll ask if we can go out to eat.

Every time I walk in it’s the same sight, stuff everywhere, not clean, she’s on the couch on her phone with the tv playing or asleep. (I’m very guilty at being on my phone as well to the point it affects my effectiveness with tasks I need to get done at the house) I feel defeated constantly, whatever I do seems to not be enough. I’m working from generally 0500-1800 every day, to then go to sleep at 21-2300 while she’s up from anywhere from 1000-2300 at night, with 5-6 hr naps in between. (Yes I understand the pregnancy, but again, this was bad before the pregnancy too)

I’ve encouraged along with friends and family for her to get a job and she feels defeated with the area we are in not hiring many people that don’t hold a certain degree or whatever reason they won’t. She’s literally applied everywhere, got interviews, got ghosted, the whole works. (It’s happened to SOO many military spouses we’ve talked to around the military base it should be studied)

If you’ve read this far thank you, it’s a lot and I’m rambling, I feel lost and defeated and don’t know where exactly I need to orient efforts to drive change.

My questions and goals: What’s your advice for those that have been in this situation? Is it lazy wife or am I being over dramatic/ critical? Any input from people that were in her shoes? We love each other very much and neither believe in just quitting on a marriage. I’m looking for constructive criticism not bashing her please. (Bash me all you want lol, I need to get better too) My goals and her goals are to become better with peer corrections and being able to voice concerns before it explodes over long periods of time. I want there to be less phone and social media usage because I believe it hinders our communication and makes us lazier, how do I go about bringing it up? She wants to feel motivated in doing the chores and not feel like she’s carrying all the weight of the home all the time. She struggles with the motivation to cook something from scratch because of how easy it is to go buy fast food and even have it delivered.

Thank you