If I was bad at riding I will never understand why he just didn’t tell me so I could have gotten better

If I was bad at riding I will never understand why he just didn’t tell me so I could have gotten better

2 years ago the last man I was in a relationship with bragged to me about how he fucked another girl, his girlfriend and how she rode him during sex and how good she did but any time I tried to get on top of him and ride him during sex when we were together he would just grab me and throw me off a minute into me being on top of him to take back control and he would do that every single time without fail, he didn’t even let me try and I just don’t understand why he never let me ride him during sex if he was just going to throw it in my face that someone else did later on, he didn’t even let me try at the very least and if he never let me ride him because I was maybe bad at it and that was the reason why I just don’t understand why he didn’t at least tell me so that I could get better, I would have been willing to get better but he didn’t let me try to get better, I would have been open to getting better I would have tried harder but he never even gave me a chance to get better and I just keep beating myself up about it.