How Much Longer

I’m closer to 50 than I am 40, divorced three years out. I have been pretty content not dating and even figured I’d be happier with cats and plants..

However, I’m starting to really miss someone holding my hand, or walking next to me while we shop, putting their hand on the small of my back. Among other little things that just make being human a wonderful experience.

I really don’t think I want to go on for the rest of my life without another person to call my partner. But how in the world does one even go about meeting someone when divorce absolutely destroyed you?

Yes, I’ve done the counseling and all of the things one should do to keep myself mentally stable (ish). I just realize that at my age most men will have also gone through either a marriage or serious relationship. May or may not have kids. And all of that will have baggage just like mine. So how do you date with all of that stuff and not compare your own memories with current reality?

Will I ever be able to allow someone to love all of me after being betrayed? And vice versa?

I just have so many little questions about it all before I even decide to open my life up to another possible relationship. The last thing I want is to hurt someone because I’m not as ready as I thought or I realize that I don’t want it after all. So I want to be certain that I’m ready and all of these little details seem like they are important, at least for me.