I wonder if maybe I should ET.

I feel like I am not liked or respected in my village. The people I know personally and interact with regularly are great. But it's honestly the catcalls that really get to me. I can't even leave my house without it happening. Which I do understand is normal, but it's starting to seem less like catcalls and more like straight up making fun of me? Like I have genuinely been laughed at and spoken to in mocking voices in English (not the local language) by strangers of all ages.

And it gets worse, because my main tool to cope with stress is running. But when I run, it only gets worse. I actually feel like I'm treated like an animal sometimes. Not just because of the catcalling and rude tones and laughing at me, but also the staring and gawking.

At best, its annoying. At worst, it makes me feel like I'm not wanted here and ashamed to even exist. There's really not much I can do to stop it. I can't change the fact that I'm white. And I can't control how other people treat me. So I guess this is just life. My only other option is never leaving the house.

And I don't know if it's worth it.