I (33) got duped into believing Alt-Right rhetoric (TW: Mention of suicidal ideation)

This story begins all the way back in 2014, I had just quit college entirely after a bout of bad luck in a school system that didn't have the support structure an (at the time) undiagnosed and unmedicated AuDHD special needs student needed. This lack of support, coupled with a shut-in home situation with awful, inattentive social workers became the perfect storm for a terrible depression.

I grew up in a left-wing Social democrat family. I've always been a firm believer in human rights, and hated injustice of any kind. I was also fond of history, so when I browsed YouTube one day and found Sargon of Akkad on my feed, I was almost immediately hooked and as YouTube does, began to fill my feed with channel suggestions similar to his until I was essentially watching Sargon and his friends and I was primed for the pipeline.

Around the time of GamerGate, my entire YouTube feed shifted to the "Culture war". I never questioned any of these YouTubers, as they had always proclaimed to be some variant of libertarian, liberal or some other centre left persuasion whilst feeding me alt-right propaganda. I never saw through the rhetoric and slowly this began to affect mine. I began spouting MRA nonsense, began mocking the prejudiced and the vulnerable like they were just crybabies, even got very close to believing the "Great Replacement Theory" conspiracy.

I was at my lowest point, my critical thinking skills were completely sapped away from me. most of my friends had left me for obvious reasons, I was so miserable I was but a hair's breadth away from just jumping on front of a car, choosing the void's embrace over the despair of life. Six years since that incident, I am now a much happier person. I've spent a very long time recovering, reflecting on my life, my mistakes, my insecurities, and taking responsibility for all of them. I'm finally medicated, I've gotten back in touch with my true self, now identifying as non-binary and working hard for an Associate Degree in experiential expertise in mental healthcare.

Why am I telling you all of this?

I want to make it my life's work to help those people with depression, to counsel them and empower them toward their own recovery, but also to make it my work to warn people, to spread awareness of the dangers of social media and how vulnerable you really are to manipulation and abuse when you're depressed. I am not looking for forgiveness. Frankly, what I did should never be forgiven. I want to warn you, dear reader, what happened to me could just as well be happening to others, even people with the best of intentions can fall victim to this horrific pipeline.

Remain vigilant, stay active, stand tall. We can weather this storm as long as we stand together.