Dad ruining my life

I grew up in a pretty turbulent / abusive home. Both of my parents have mental disorders (although neither will consult therapy :)) and it’s been really tough my entire life. In my early years it was physical/emotional abuse and interestingly enough now it’s moved on to complete helicopter control freak behavior. My texts are being read, my location being monitored, constantly asked where I am etc. I moved out to a different city after I graduated from college. I also recently got a boyfriend. I tried to keep this from my dad but he obviously found out from the reading texts and tracking me. I eventually had to tell him and that has made things a million times worse. He is now going off the deep end at home saying “his daughter is lost” and I am “making a huge mistake” all by simply living my life I guess. It’s becoming so hard on me and my mom who has to hear it first hand. My mind is already so messed up from my childhood which affects my relationship with my bf in plenty of ways and this is making it so much harder. I am missing a huge event for my bf this weekend we had planned for months bc my dad apparently needs me to come home. I have no idea what to do because I’m basically fully responsible for my father’s emotional feelings. I just want to live in peace for the first time in my life. Anyone have a similar experience…?