Being the bigger person is impossible to them

My husband and I went NC with my nparents 6 months ago. Even though I don’t talk to them, I have 5 younger siblings (4 of which live at home) that I still talk to. I’m not sure if it’s because there’s so many of us kids or that we’re close in age and were all treated poorly, but we were bonded then trauma bonded on top of that. Most of my siblings have license so they visit often, and me being the oldest sister, and kinda the mom figure, my siblings come to me here and there and rant about life at home still. It’s sad to hear, especially since I too had to do my time. I listen, don’t bash my parents but I agree with my siblings. At the end of the day if they ask me question I answer very matter-of-fact. I don’t let emotions get involved because my experience with them is my own, and last thing I’m trying to do is be like my parents which they’re always talking me down and trying to pin my siblings and I against each other. I think they screwed up having so many kids and close in age because what they do to one, to told to the rest and we form a shield for whichever kid is getting chewed out. We never blamed or threw another under the bus, in fact we’d usually all claim we did it so my parents couldn’t blame or take it out on one of us.

Anyway, my husband and I are moving and sold our truck to my little brother who just recently got his drivers license as he wanted a truck, it’s in great condition and we were giving it to him at a very cheap price just to get him on his feet faster because that’s what I wish I had. We wrote up everything and handed it over to him and explained that our mom would have to sign it and put it in her name as my brother is still a minor. She refused to show up as she claimed we didn’t want to see her. She’s right, we didn’t but like how divorced parents should be the bigger person for the sake of the kids, my husband and I weren’t going to not sell the truck to him just because of our NC streak. So we just gave the papers to my brother with instructions to give them to her and we really didn’t need a copy of the bill of sale.

Fast forward a week, my brother accidentally cleaned out the car and tossed the registration so he needed my husband to meet him at the dmv so he can verbalize he was selling it to him. Once again our mom refused to show, claiming we didn’t want to see her and my husband told my brother that it’s strictly business, and that he’s there for his son-in-law and is fine with meeting with them both so he could get the truck. My brother relayed this message to my mom, pretty much saying this wasn’t about her and she still refused. Thankfully another brother who is an adult willingly offered to put it in his name since our mom was refuses. Everything went well, brothers showed up, we sorted everything out and now brother officially has his first car! Super excited that we could help him out. But just crazy how even though we’ve been the bigger people, nmom still refuses to make life easy even for her other kids