Now with real Mermaids (The CaFae) 21/x

 First/Previous/Next

CW: Domestic Abuse (Start, end)

May 18

Mark is visiting. He just got here.  It is Wednesday morning and Jackie is hanging out before she has to get ready for work while I have an evening shift. I am walking in my super comfy cat ear hoodie and sweat pants that are so well loved they are starting to become wispy. Gonna have to retire them soon. Sad.  Maybe I should buy a new hoodie? 

“Do you always wear this sort of thing around the house?”  He seems baffled by it.

I nod. “Don’t you?”  I am not telling this man I have my thin bra on and no shirt under the hoodie to keep cool. 

He chuckles. “I thought you would be walking around half naked. She made it sound…”

I laugh. “I am not THAT ONE.”  I point at Jackie who is walking out of her room in a thin t-shirt and a pair of booty shorts. “Put some clothes on you exhibitionist!”

She flips me off, opens the fridge and bends forward to get something while I work on my tablet and avoid staring into the sun, so to speak.

Mark almost flips out but he sees me engrossed in my scheduling program and realizes I am not staring. “She always like this?” He seems worried.

I chuckle. “Not always. That’s for you. She knows I am straight.”  Mostly. Okay, like 57% at this point if you put my fantasies into percentages. Ignore that almost all of the ones with women are Jackie….

Jackie fumbles with her stuff and recovers.  She lands the butter front of the stove. She looks at the stove as if it is a monster as she finally realized something.  “Um, I should not make eggs and bacon in this.”

“Then put on something proper. Please tell me that isn’t your My Little Pony Shirt. I have to put that thing in delicate because it is going to disintegrate otherwise. It won’t protect the ladies from hot oil jumping out of the pan. You will burn your boobs, woman.”  I am still looking at my tablet and really not paying attention.

Mark gets up and I can hear them talking in the kitchen while things get started. I almost have the schedule done. I had to juggle a few of usual shifts to accommodate days off. Lemar normally does this but he has the week off with family. He and May are so happy. And I think they are celebrating something special that I am not going to ruin the surprise of.

As if to confirm everything for me, the last time I interpreted for May I was channeling some of my power and I heard something I haven’t heard in a long time and another life. Sounded like my baby’s heart in the ultrasound.  That same sound was coming from her belly. So happy!!!

If I am right, I am going to have to close the shop for baby shower.   Everyone will want to go.  Meanwhile I see someone has some time off I need to adjust for… is the food burning?

I look up and they are gone. The burners are on. Eggs are burning. Dammit!!

I go turn everything off before a fire breaks out. I have the fan going full speed.

 

The door is open a little bit and with the stove off I can hear them. Arguing.  Yea. I need to go for a walk. The roof is a good spot.

 

I am enjoying the Spring rolling into Summer air when Skerrit shows up. He drops any pretense of being human when at the apartment building and I can see him clearly as a centaur. I wave. He trots over.

“How is my favorite tenant?”

I laugh.  “I am sure you have better ones!”

He shakes his head. “None. The pixies in 306 are pretty good but they can be a little difficult sometimes. You have been a model tenant.  Walk with me.”  We go into the greenhouse. It is beautiful here. And it is far too big as always. Walking into the FeyWyld from my apartment roof is so weird.  I look and see my form has changed to what it does when I embrace my power fully. The dragonfly wings are very pretty.

I hate doing this to myself, but fair is fair. “Skerrit, did you give me a stupidly good discount because of one of the Courts?”

“Not at all. I had a feeling you would be a good fit here. Do you know how hard it is to rent to mortals when 90% of your building is Fae?  They all drop their glamour around you. You are safe. They aren’t complaining about having to hide or worry. You also put a lot of them at ease. You personify comfort. I almost feel bad charging you as much as I do.  Also, I am part of the Summer Court so my actions automatically make this part of the Court’s doings…”

I laugh. Leave it to Skerrit to both deny and confirm something in a way you can’t figure out.  “I do not want to take advantage.  I believe in being fair. If you change the rent I will make up the difference, so you don’t have to worry about Jackie being hurt by it.”

He walks over to one of the trees and pulls an apple off it. He takes a bite and voices the happiest noises I have ever heard him make. He looks at me and I shake my head. Even this close, eating is dangerous. He never actually offered either. Just the gesture of a host being kind that knows it will be denied.  “This is why your rent will remain the same for your time here. You and she both are smart enough to know not to eat the fruit. You also understood the act of me offering without demanding and you took the correct manner of thanking me without doing so. Courtesies observed, host and guest being perfect at their role.  Simple.  That is a blessing to us,” He smiles. 

“Also, you are both kind and you both are fun to listen to when you Broadcast your feelings everywhere.”

“Oh, speaking of feelings, I will warn you.  You have tapped into powers that are immense.  They also respond to emotions.  You broadcast because those emotions spill out.  Do not let them become repressed, they will spill out at the worst times. You may find them controlling you.  They will come to you, unbidden.  They will get dark and it will cause harm.  Listen to them as others listen to your broadcasts of skipping down a hall due to happiness.  Understand them, before they cause harm.”

I am sure a surprised Pikachu face is being displayed. He laughs.  “Also, do not worry.  You also have been most beneficial when it comes to this domain. Having humans that can co-exist has done much to make it stronger.  So no, do not worry, you are fine on rent.”

I smile. “I could kiss you.”

He laughs and bends forward.  “I could get a kiss!”

I kiss his cheek and he nearly jumps.  I laugh and we head back to the rooftop. They have all made my life pretty good..

Skerrit turns and looks at me. Sadness in his eyes. “Maybe some day we will make your life full of joy and not just pretty good? I do hope so.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to broadcast that. And trust me, pretty good is pretty damn amazing compared to just 5 years ago.  I couldn’t say anything close then. I can now.”

He nods. “I should like to hear that story some day.”  He pats me on the head and takes off after getting a call. Some hobgoblin is complaining about the toilet on the second floor.  I wave goodbye and hope those two in the apartment are done arguing.

 

May 20

 

Fiadh walks up to the counter and signs to me.  “Pat, I am calling in my favor.”

Aside from us, 3 other people in the CaFae know ASL. I am not sure if Bob does, but he is just reading the paper.  Almost as one I hear air being sucked in through teeth. I don’t care. I owe her.

“What may I do for you?”  I wait.

She signs and I nod. I walk over to the lobby.

Sitting in a chair, somehow immaculately lit up by a beam of light coming through the window is an elf. They are gorgeous.  I walk up and wait to the side as they read something on a tablet. They look up, surprised.

“Good day proprietor.  What brings you into this one’s presence, great lady?”  They are smooth as fuck.

“Wind Through The Leaves, this is Fiadh. She admires your beauty and wishes to speak with you.”  I nod to her.

She begins signing and the elf is immediately confused. I begin talking for her.

“We met for a short time at the wedding of May and Lemar.  I was captivated by your presence. Would you be able and willing to allow me the pleasure of becoming more friendly?”  Girl is shooting her shot. I wish I could do more.

They look at her and nod.  They gesture to wait a second and tap on tablet.   I can’t see what they are viewing, but I think I know.  They look at it and then in a ridiculously elegant and almost flawless ASL “It would be my pleasure.”  

I look at Fiadh. I sign to her.  “I would have done this without the favor.”

She nods. “I know. I wanted that favor burned so you wouldn’t have any worries about it.”

I smile at my friend and touch her cheek. “I have never once since the moment I made it, worried, beautiful one.  I never worry about favors I give to friends.”  I get a hug.

 

May 21

A week and 5 minutes ago I told an incubus she is banned for a week.  4 minutes ago she walked in with 2 individuals wearing collars that let me guess where they are in the way of things.

“Good day, Boss Bitch.  I would like what I had last time.”  She smiles.  I know she is testing me.  I smile back, game on.

“Peppermint hot chocolate, double the toppings.  For Mommy, correct?”  She looks more surprised than she has any right to be.

“How did you know?”  She looks very curious. 

“I cut and paste it from the last chapter.”  I smile.

She shakes her head in confusion and I smile a little more.  I have been hanging out with the Fae for over 3 years now.  I picked up some tricks for screwing with others…  involuntarily.

“Anyway, dear Boss Bitch, I have introductions to make.  Dax, order something.”  The taller and absolutely androgynous one with the blue collar nods.  “I’d like an Americano.”  I nod.  Their voice gives me ZERO hints.  No worries.

“Now, Felix, make your order too.”  The man in the white collar nods.  Wait, he is an actual man.  I have seen this guy before.  Why is he so familiar?  Wait.  Dark grey suit, power tie, every Wednesday morning for 6 months when I worked them.  This dude’s an executive!    Oh, he’s been in here with Mab!  She introduced him, he’s one of her Chief Operations Officers. 

I also didn’t hear his order. 

A deft finger taps the Cappuccino and adds a shot of espresso to it.  Oh, his usual… I turn and am looking at Jackie who is looking up at me and winks.   

“Sorry, I was zoned out for a second.”  Mommy gives me a puzzled look.  She then has the COO pay.  She orders him to leave a good tip.  He really does… LIKE GOOD.

“Be good boys and get our drinks and then go to that table.”  She smiles at them.

“Yes, Mistress M,” they say in unison.  I get the last customer while she patiently waits to the side.  I tell her to give me a minute and get the last person served up.  Once I have no people waiting, I walk over to where she is waiting.

She is immediately contrite, “Thank you for allowing me back, I intend to make it up to all of you.”  I am in a good mood about it at this point.  I smile at her.

“Just make sure you make it up to her.  I never want to see her like that again.”  I am not threatening. 

“Moaning in pleasure?  Oh I think you do…. Oh lord there’s the line I shouldn’t have crossed.  SORRY!”  Apparently, I was glaring again.  There may have been flames. I don’t know. I am not sure where that rage came from.  Devil Voice Pat, probably.

I laugh.  “It was a good joke.  But don’t make light of what you did.”

“Yes ma’am.  Look, those two gentlemen are my subs.” The incubus gestures to the two with her.

“And the blue collar person, nice pun by the way, is a succubus?”  I am not sure, I can’t tell with them.  I am not sure if they are male or female either.  That one has mermaid androgyny almost beat.

“Good eye.  He is currently a he.  Sometimes he flips to a she if the dom likes that more.”

“So, succubi are not all female, and incubi are not all male, instead they flip if they want?”  I am trying to imagine Mistress M as a mister and it doesn’t work.

“Position is what defines us.  I am a natural top.  They are a natural bottom.  Some of us, though not me, are able to change genders.  I am sure that must come as a shock.” 

I laugh.  “Not at all, had it happen to me.  It was a whole thing…”. I wave my finger around in a circle looking exasperated, I am sure.

She blinks a few times.  “I…  huh?”

I debate using such a blessing as a party trick and decide against it.  It was a blessing.  I don’t feel right in that skin either.  I have never done it since then.  What is it, comfortable in skin?  Something like that.  I really should up that monthly donation to that hotline.  I can afford it.  “I was accidentally blessed by someone that could do that.  It took.  Fae blessings are no joke.  I am pretty sure I can still do it if I want.  I have no desire to, it really isn’t me.”

She laughs.  “Okay, you are going to be so much fun.”  She fucking claps…

“Going to be?  Bitch I already am!”

Her laugh is actually something beautiful.  I like it.

We both feel a cold chill coming from the counter.  Jack turns and waves. 

“Oh yea, That’s Jack Frost, behave with him.”

She goes ashen.  “You have Winter Court served here?”  I laugh.

“The great Queen Mab was our first.  She liked how well I dealt with her that it started a trend.”

She looks at me.  “I never stood a chance.”

I wink.  “Damn right you didn’t.  Go get your drink.  Follow the rules and you and any of your kin can come.  I am sure I am going to have to put my dick on the table, metaphorically… to show them mine is bigger, but it is fine.  Do warn them not to touch any of my staff.  If they want to try dating rule 3 is in effect.  If they hurt any of my staff here or outside, no power from heaven to hell will save them from me.”  I smile in what I think is a sweet manner showing plenty of teeth..

She stiffens up.  “You have shark teeth, again.”

Puzzled, I check.  FUCK I DO!!!  FUCK FUCK FUCK… Oh good, normal again.  What the fuck was that about?!  I mean, that was not something I wanted to do.  Ugh. Wait?

“Again?”

She nods.  “Last week.  You smiled just before you kicked me out.  Red and I were both shocked, I think.  I wasn’t expecting a blessing from the Sea Queen too.  I already saw the air and land queens had favored you at that point, also, scary sexy.”

Mark walks in.  He’s taking Jackie out after her shift.  I wave.  He doesn’t wave back.  He looks at her and something in the pit of my stomach drops.  She’s talking with Jacob and he looks pissed.

“I gotta go, Mistress M.  Sorry I scared you.”  I put my hand on the back of her hand and give it a pat.  She smiles instantly and winks.  At least we should be good there. On her way to her subs she stops to talk with Connie. I see Connie smiling and blushing. Looks like Mommy may have a fan.

Mark walks up to Jackie and begins to talk intensely with her about something.  I walk up behind him.  “Please refrain from antagonizing my staff.”  He whirls on me and I stand there smiling.  I make sure not to show teeth. 

“You are even worse.  You always are at her side.  You think I haven’t noticed how you look at her?  How she looks…” He is cut off by her “gently tugging” his arm.  He pulls his hand back.  I somehow stop a repeat of smashing a patron’s head into a wall hard enough to shatter concrete.  I picture it in my mind and I let him see it.  His hand goes down.

I am not liking how he is treating her.  “Mark, please order something and drink it while calming down, or leave.  I don’t care which. Either way, this scene ends.  Now.”

He nods.  He waves me off and begins to walk to the door.  He waves to her mouthing sorry and doing a heart with his hands.  Dafuq?

Jackie looks at me.  “Can we talk when I am done with my date?”  I nod, I have some bookkeeping to do at home anyway.  I am really starting to worry.  Maybe I should “accidentally” walk in on her in the shower again.  I can check for bruises.  Wait. Why am I worried about… I force myself to calm down.

3 people step away from me as if I caught fire.  I may have actually done so when that thought of her being abused crossed my mind.

 

Later

I am sitting on my futon in my favorite hoodie, watching TV with Mr. Stuffies in my lap when Jackie comes in.  She looks tired.  I pat the couch next to me. “Sit down, red. Talk to me.”

She plops down next to me and simply crashes on me. “I miss Cindy.”

I nod. “She was good to you. No drama with that one even when her and my boyfriend decided to dump us so they could date. You still see her occasionally?”

She snuggles in and nods. “Couple days ago.  That reminds me.  She said that Ricardo says that he ‘misses your perfect ass.’  There was more but it isn’t important. They are doing great. We need to do board game night again. We may get invited to the wedding.”

I chuckle.  “Always a bridesmaid… oh wait. Nevermind.”

I get punched in the arm for that one. Lightly.

She is hesitant, “Um, Pat, I need to tell you about Mommy and me last week.”

I nod. She is ready to talk. Good. I have left that entire thing alone because I don’t want to hurt her.  She looks at me and looks worried.

“Take your time.  You should not feel shame here.”

She nods. I see her get the courage to talk and she starts. “When she tried to seduce you, did you get a vision of a fantasy with her?”

I nod. The French maid outfit thing was absolutely something I have envisioned Jackie in with my battery operated buddy assisting. I will never tell her that.

“She told me today that she gets visions of people’s kinks and fantasies. If she is pushing they see her doing it too. She doesn’t push often. She did with you and again with me when she went into the bathroom after you resisted her…”

Okay. I am keeping up. Wait.

“I have a fantasy where I get…”

Oh. Oh no.

“Yea, so I want to be taken without being able to resist. She saw this and went for it since she kinda figured I would be up for it.”

“I almost bashed a sex fiend’s head in for helping you explore a kink in the bathroom?”

One I could totally help you with right now…. SHUT THE FUCK UP DEVIL PAT!

She gulps some air.  When did I get this close to her. She smells nice.

She nods at me. “Yes.”

Was she answering my question or my devil?

I am not going there so, “Oh boy. I owe her an apology.  But not really. She give you one of them words to say?”

“A safe word?  No.”

“Yea. I will apologize for overreacting but not for protecting you.  Okay?”

She nods. She looks almost upset.

“Anything else?”

She composes herself a little and nods.

“I would like Mark to come over at night. It might put him more at ease seeing I have a girl roommate that loves me but isn’t in love with me. Get him less jealous.” She sounds conflicted on this.

I can handle that. Wait… but that isn’t the truth… SHUT UP DEVIL

Yea, that is a good idea.

I nod. “I thought him seeing me ignore your shenanigans three days ago would have let him see that.”  She gives me a hug.

“I am always a fucking problem for you.  Sorry I am such a shit friend.”

“Three nice things.”

“Well, fuck. Um. My personal hygiene is top notch, I am doing great at work, and I have amazing taste in friends.”  She gives me a cute smile.

“That last one is sort of cheating but I will allow it. My dad did similar when I tried that sort of thing.”  She is holding my hands.  I look at her and smile. “Your dad reminds me of mine.  Their sense of humor is similar.”

She nods. “My parents were so happy coming over again for my graduation.  We need to get them back here.”

I smile and nod. “We have room. I can sleep on the futon this time and they can use my bed since you took it last time.”

She laughs.  “Sweetie, you are longer than the futon. I will invite them for Christmas again.  We can do like last time’s sleeping arrangements.”

“Their visiting would be nice.  Now, enough with moping.  What is up with this idea with Mark?”

“He is so high maintenance.  He thinks he isn’t good enough or something and he gets jealous. When I talk about my roommate or any friends, he looks glum. And if they are a guy, they are dangerous and trying to steal me.”  She is annoyed.

“I didn’t know you were a possession to steal…”

She laughs.  “I would be fine with it for the right person. If the right person said I was theirs I would be happy. Ecstatic even.  Wouldn’t need to ask, just lean over the futon and take me like they know they want me. Just like that.”

I nod. That does sound pretty hot. So hot…  Hey, HEY!!!

“As it stands, he is okay in all but a few ways. So, I think I will try to invite him and see how it goes.” 

I reach over and hear her breath catch for a second as I give her a hug. She is so jumpy tonight.  “He can come over whenever.  As long as you are comfortable with him. Not like I walk anything around the house other than sweatpants and hoodies nowadays.”

“I recall once when Ricardo was over you wore that little red thong with that perfect ass I grabbed and ooooooomph.” 

Mr. Stuffies is very adept at stopping me being embarrassed and has rescued me once again by impacting the little monster in the face. Good job buddy!  There is a reason I kept you even moving from Georgia.  Like the ring, but with great memories instead of terrible ones.

Jackie laughs and goes off to change. I notice as she gets to the room she looks over her shoulder at me. She is still sad. Maybe disappointed? 

Fuck. I am such a moron. 
I know, Devil Pat, I know.

 

May 22

“I hate this fucker. I FUCKING HATE HIM!!  He keeps being jealous of everyone.  She is polyam, she needs to be able to be loved by and love the people she does. She can’t be held in place by one person. It isn’t fair to her!!  She deserves better!!!  I hate that fuck!”  Do I sound unhinged?  Maybe. Do I care?  Nope.

The Doc looks up from her notes at me, “You sure this is about him?”

“Fucking what?” I didn’t mean to spin towards, yell, and glare at her. Fuck.

“Woah, simmer down. You NEVER got this mad when you got dumped. You didn’t get this mad in dozens of other situations.  Even talking about Mike, you are mostly sad. You only get pissed about things when you are talking about your shortcomings.”

She uses her fingers like a list.  “YOU should have left earlier.  YOU should have asked for help. YOU should have been smarter.”

Wow, doc looks annoyed. “Never mad at HIM trying to murder you with a knife. Never raging at HIS beatings. Never pissed that you delivered a child early. Never yelling about Ricardo leaving you with Cindy. Hell, you fire more anger at Cindy for leaving Jackie as they both are being restrained in how they behave by the people they are in love with…”

She looks surprised at herself and seems to believe she shouldn’t have said that.

“Yes well, Ricardo is starting to warm up to the idea of being polyam for her. Guess it takes the right person… unlike me. I’m not good enough.  Just garbage.”

“See?!?!  Right there. That isn’t rage. That is disappointment.  Except when it is directed at you. Then it is anger and bitterness and subdued rage. Also, three nice things..”

“I am loving, I try not to be a hypocrite, I give good feedback. And why does the subject of my anger matter?”

“Because you have all that rage built up at yourself. Over not being good enough. And in this case he is a proxy. You said he isn’t fair and she deserves better. But you aren’t saying that about him. Not primarily.  The anger is too deep. Your anger at people does not go deep. You care about other people. You are kind to others. But this man is angering you. Why?”

“Because he isn’t worthy of my Jackie…”

“He isn’t?  He is not worthy of Jackie?”

I shake my head. “No, not worthy of my Jackie.”

“Someone hurting her is the only thing that makes you angry at anyone besides yourself. YOUR Jackie.”

“My Jackie? She isn’t mine.”
She shakes her head, she’s refusing to stop, why?  “You called her your Jackie.”

I shake my head, “I didn’t say my Jackie.”

She pulls out her phone. She’s been recording?  Why? “Listen to yourself.”

She plays back what I just said. It is wrong.

No. It isn’t. I just haven’t been seeing it. Hearing myself say it.

Why have I not noticed it?  I said it twice. She got me to repeat it. She baited me…

The Doc looks so exasperated.  “You have called her ‘MY Jackie’ DOZENS OF TIMES.  Patricia, you don’t care that he doesn’t let her be who she is. Well, you do, but that isn’t why you are angry. You are angry because you don’t think you can do it either. You feel you aren’t worthy of her because you consider yourself too vanilla to let her be her true self and it is causing you issues.  It is stopping you from admitting your feelings.”

“But that would mean I am in…”

Why can I not say it?

Fucking duh. It’s not just a river in Egypt, Patricia.

 

May 23.                 7pm

 

Mark came over 2 hours ago.

Mark accused Jackie of cheating on him with me an hour and a half ago.

Mark and Jackie started yelling at one another an hour ago.

My headache started about 20 minutes ago.

The landlord got called 10 minutes ago.

Skerrit arrived in his human guise of a gentleman in a wheelchair 5 minutes ago.

 Mark is leaving 0 minutes ago. 

He looked like he would get violent and then he met Skerrit.  He wasn’t going to throw punches at an older man in a wheelchair…  Skerrit’s disguise worked really well here.  Of course, the Ogre security guard behind Skerrit that looks to him like the Mountain from Game of Thrones probably doesn’t hurt to end this issue.  Mark’s still a regular. Says a lot.

 I am pretty sure Jackie is going to need some ice cream. I have my light coat on and start going for the door. 

She looks at me and looks utterly hurt.  “You’re leaving me?  Now?” I hear anguish.

“I am getting a bucket of ice cream. Strawberry. And some fudge we can heat up. You want to stay or come with me. Either way, nevermind, I can wait for you.”  

She goes from sad to happy by the time I said “Strawberry” and starts grabbing her coat when I said she could come with me.

We get to the lobby by the front door to see Mark’s car leaving.  Skerrit is waving goodbye.  Haha.

“Thank you Skerrit.  You are truly one of the best landlords to walk upon the earth. Sorry to break the perfect tenant streak.”

He laughs and smacks my back. “You pay rent on time and always get my drink started before I ask.  Least I could do for two of my most treasured tenants!  You are still more than fine Pat.”

We are just out of the lobby when Jackie pipes up.  “I never noticed how handsome Skerrit is.”  

I chuckle.  “He’s a centaur, babe, that might kill you.”

Her shocked look at my implication was enough to make me have to stop walking  while laughing or risk falling. 

“You ass, I just broke up with a guy!!!  I was just saying he is handsome, and it was like having a knight in shining armor rescue me. Cuz you certainly didn’t.”

“I know I am taller than an average gal, but could you not just make me out to be a guy?”

“You literally can be if you want.”

“We agreed to never bring that up again…”

“I still haven’t seen whether or not it was proportional to a C cup. Though you are closer to D now…”

“CAN WE PLEASE STOP THIS LINE OF TALK?!”

She laughs and jumps in front of me.  “Want me to bring up how Skerrit and Ricardo are probably comparable.  Oh, great Size Queen of the Fae?”  My face burns red.

Walking backwards she rolls her eyes at me dramatically.  “Oh, and WE didn’t agree to bring that up. You decreed it, and I am immune to your decrees!”

“I decree Jackie will fall into my arms in 3 seconds.”

She laughs at me, trips and then falls into my arms…

In unison we both say, “What the fuck?”  

“Um, Pat, don’t decree I will die or something.”

“Never. I would never ever do that.  Okay, let’s get off the property owned by Skerrit and try that again.”

She nods and then adds “but make it something painless.”

I nod. We get outside the walkway and unto the sidewalk. I think I know how this will turn out. “I decree Jackie will drop her purse.”

Jackie holds on to it and I nod. “Probably just Skerrit messing with us.”

Jackie looks annoyed. “I was hoping for something more fun, like kissing you.”

I laugh.  “Yea, but you probably would have done it anyway just to mess with me.”

“You aren’t wrong. I almost dropped my purse anyway so I could pick it up in front of you and bend over juuust right to give you a show.”  She laughs as we get close to the convenience store. 

“Didn’t you just break up with a guy?”  If she can use it, so can I.

“This is different. It is you. I love you.”

I am glad it is still a little chilly outside as it is cooling off my cheeks.  

She winks and we go get the ice cream. 

 

10pm

It’s been 3 hours since Jackie broke up with Mark. We are watching “When Harry Met Sally” and we are at that scene. Yes, THAT scene. We are both laughing hysterically at the ridiculousness and then that line shows up.  “I’ll have what she’s having.”

I almost peed a little. 

Jackie’s doing okay. Mission accomplished.  I am happy. She’s not crying or in pain or stuck in a bad relationship. 

She basically drapes herself over me. “God. Do you know how long it has been since I made sounds like that?!”

I will not say “3 months, 2 weeks, 3 days. Cindy.”  Saying that would be rude. Accurate, but rude.

We keep forgetting to invite her and Ricardo over for board games again.  Back on task, Pat!  

Instead, I go with “I would say a while.  You shouldn’t have issues getting some action though.  Maybe go to a club or whatever young people do nowadays.”  I wink.

She smacks my shoulder. “You are 4 years older than me. You literally met Ricardo at a club WITH me!!! Quit sounding like you are ancient.”

I adopt an old woman voice. “Back in my day, dearie, we didn’t have fancy things like clubs. It was shotgun weddings after getting knocked up at 17, uphill both ways to the justice of the peace, and we liked it!!”

She laughs hard enough to get tears in her eyes. 

“Hahahaha. So, when did you get divorced?”  She laughs. 

“6 years ago,” I reply deadpan.

She looks so sad as she looks in my eyes. “You… you aren’t kidding.”

“Nope. Barely 17 to 20. Gave up the baby but stayed with the bigger baby for far too long. Remember the birthing hips comment?  I figured your mom would have told you…”

“She keeps secrets.  She said you would tell me when you are ready. Wait, was January 5^(th) your little girl’s birthday?  Oh god, Pat.”

“Yea, she was a little early. The people the agency had me give her to were still prepared though. Super parents, those two. I love them.”

Jackie looks ready to cry. I guess the pain is still there and was evident. 

“Don’t cry, sweetie. I moved out here to start a new life with my best friend, got to be a barista and then had a new client that changed my whole life. I have a room in our apartment that is roughly the size of my first entire apartment in New York at less than half the rent. I have a roommate that I care about very much, and a big extended family.”

“So why did you stay instead of divorce him after giving up the kid?”

She’s drudging up some bad memories.  “Family. Mom forced me to marry him. His dad forced him to marry me.  He had a black eye when we signed the paperwork at the justice of the peace.  I had one a week later, while pregnant.  I made the decision to save Riley then. Mom was so pissed when I gave her up.  I stayed because my mom would have made life hell for me if I hadn’t.  She never once believed me about the abuse. I fucking showed her the bruises, she blamed me.  And then there was the fact that I was afraid he would kill me if I tried to leave.”

She is hesitant.  I know she wants to ask. I save her the courage.  

“I left him because her abuse was less than what I was getting at home and he did try to kill me. At least with her it wouldn’t be trips to 4 different hospitals so they wouldn’t notice the repeat fractures right away.  Even after I had ribs cracked protecting Riley from his kicks, I stayed to ‘make things work’ as mom told me.

“JESUS FUCK.”

I can’t stop the tears. I just got to keep going.  “I never told anyone this. Not mom, Penny, no one.  When he picked up the knife…”

She inhales sharply and grabs my left arm, running her fingers over the scars.  I nod.

“That day when you moved in and I told you the story. I was in the kitchen.  I fell.  A knife came at my face, I put my arm up to stop it.  All of those were true.  Just, I fell after the knife got my arm.  I wasn’t the one holding it. It is a practiced lie.”  I think she feels worse realizing how I had lied when I moved her in. 

“All because I didn’t want to give him a blowjob after working a double that day. He tried to kill me because I was tired and not in the mood to please his selfish ass.  I ran. I ran with a knife sticking out of my arm holding it closed to not bleed to death.  I got to a place I could be safe. Work. I worked at a restaurant then. My boss got me to an ER.  After they resuscitated me…”

Her noise stops me. I squeeze her hand.

“After I almost died, my boss had them document every bruise on my body dear hubby had given me that day and over the weeks before along with the knife wound that had caused me to pretty much bleed out.  He then gave me a number to call.  It was a lawyer my boss knew.  I called the lawyer’s house at 3pm. Been almost a day since I was stabbed. I told him about the knife. He got me somewhere safe, and I signed an affidavit.  Eventually I was testifying at a domestic abuse trial after signing divorce papers.”

I am doing better, I can’t stop telling her, so I don’t.  “He got a suspended 60 days in jail, counseling, and probation.  I got to leave with 7 stitches per side of my arm, a crooked nose from setting it myself so many times, constant neck pain from the cracked vertebrate, and my last paycheck.  Once the divorce was final, I went to the bus station and got on a bus to see Penny.  She was my best friend in middle and high school. She graduated high school, unlike me, and came to New York City on some mad scholarship.  She gave me a place to stay and even got me a job where she worked as a barista. She kept me on my feet until I could afford a new place to live. “

“You dropped out because you were pregnant and because of the abuse.”

I nod. “Can’t well work if you are in school. And mandatory reporters ask questions when your legs and arms have bruises.  I got used to long sleeves back then.  I have like 2 short sleeve shirts even now.”

“And I made fun of you for it dropping out…. No wonder it hurt you so much.” She looks so dejected.   I hug her close. 

“That was part of it.  You know I forgave you long ago, right?  Anyway, Penny helped me get my life in order and pushed and helped me to get my GED.”

Jackie looks puzzled. “Why have I never met Penny?”

“You took her spot after she was killed in a mugging… She didn’t want to give the jerk anything important and he shot her. I made a decoy wallet the next day.”

Jackie takes a sharp breath. She realizes why I had one in the first place. She remembers the mugging we had; I am sure. Now she knows why I got everything set for her. She’s had a decoy wallet since, makes me less likely to lose her too.  “It took months for us to fill her position.  An adorable Red Head I added to the list of people to interview. We were all able to move on in time. I also had new concerns with an Eldritch being ordering 5 quads of espresso…”

Jackie looks at me like she is looking at a lost lamb.  I don’t know what to do here. “This is supposed to be you getting over a breakup. Not me opening scabbed over wounds.”

“They haven’t really healed, huh?”  I flinch because she caught my phrasing. 

She pushes on.  “Is this why you only ever talk to your mother on your birthday and just the one text?”

How does she know that?

“I saw you texting her while we were on the bus before I moved in, and again in the Uber.  You were staring at that phone with a mix of hope and dread and I couldn’t get over how sad you were.”

I nod.  “The one time she did reply she blamed me for not fighting hard enough to save my marriage.”  Her face is a mix of sadness and rage.  I am pretty sure my mom is lucky she lives so far away.

“Hey, Pat, I have a queen-sized bed.  Would you sleep next to me tonight? No bi-awakening shenanigans.  I just don’t want either of us to be alone tonight.”

I realize I would like not to be alone either. We have fallen asleep on the futon together so it isn’t like it will be a new thing.  “Sure. No sexy lingerie!”

“I sleep naked.”  She laughs at my glare. 

“I can loan you something.”

“You are like 6” taller than me…”

“And you have way more up top than me. Yea. That won’t work.  I do know you have non-sexy stuff.”

She laughs.  “Sweatpants and a pajama top it is. The Pat special!  I can do that. Or would you rather I just wear an oversized shirt and no panties, or the black lacy thong and see through top?  Hahahaha. Your face!!”

“Listen, red, you need to stop making me question my preferences.”  I am dead serious even if the tone is joking.   

“Maybe it isn’t the packaging but the contents that trip your trigger?”  She is teasing me*. But she has me wondering. It makes sense with her. Things feel right with her.* Maybe not bi-sexual so much as whatever the one is where you fall in love with the person and don’t care about the gender?  Wait. What did I just admit to myself?

“The contents of this one are copper surrounded by fire. Dangerous stuff.” I say.

“You know it. I need to get to bed or I am going to not get up in time for my morning shift.”  She kisses my cheek, grabs my hand and in her sultriest voice “coming, lover?”

My body responds…

THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ANY WOMAN WET.  I can just tell myself that until I believe it.

She winks and pulls me up. What am I going to do about this gal?!

 First/Previous/Next