What if he doesn't like me back? (24F/24M)

I (24F) have been crushing over my childhood friend (24M) and now we're both single, I'm stuck between keeping him as a friend or tell him how I really feel. Let's just name him John.

We had history. When we were both 16 yrs old, we had a mutual understanding. I was his crush and he was mine. But we only talked for 3mons and my mother made us end things between us saying that we were just kids and that if we were really for each other, we will find our way back to each other in the future. He moved on pretty quickly, while I kept liking him until I met my first boyfriend when I was 19yrs old. So I liked him for a long time, and tbh, if it wasn't for my first boyfriend (and second because i have 2 exes), my feelings for him would have never changed. But after my second failed relationship, I just lost interest in love and relationships and so everything i felt towards dating in general, I set them all aside and focused on my career and myself.

Last 2023, we started being friends again. We belong in a church band which made us closer because there were a lot of moments that we get to bond since we are in the same circle of friends. We had conversations where we got caught up with each other's lives and I noticed that since we were born the same year, our experiences and timeline were somehow a lil bit the same and we can really relate to each other. That's when a lot of our friends started to notice that our closeness is in a way, special. And since they know about what we had when we were kids, they started teasing us saying that we actually look good together. At first, I was just tagging along their jokes, laughing at it too, not taking those jokes seriously 'cause again, I'm not interested anymore and I plan to stay single for a while and I do not plan on liking someone at that moment.

So we just continued our friendship. Nothing special, just being completely platonic. We have so many things in common, that we can talk about anything. We were like magnets, wherever he sits, I was right there beside him. Same goes for John, wherever I am, he's there too. In every picture, every sitting arrangement, it's either we're next to each other or facing each other. It's very rare that we're not physically close whenever we're in the same area. We feel very comfortable.

It felt really normal and wholesome.. until our friends confronted us.

One Sunday, we all got coffee as we usually do, me and John were sitting right next to each other, as always, when our friends started to confront us about how we have our own little bubble whenever we talk to each other. They were saying that whenever we talk, it's like no one else is in the table, only the 2 of us. That we have the same wavelength, we have such strong chemistry and visible connection that we ourselves were not aware of. Of course John defended us saying that however we treat each other, we do the same to all of our friends. And then they go about our body language and how we look at each other. They were really pushing us to say that there's something going on between us,, but the truth is, there's just nothing.

I came home that night trying to analyze what was said during our coffee sesh and maybe I was overwhelmed. I was just not aware that we were seen like that, but on my end it was all normal. As I was recalling all the times that me and John bonded, all of a sudden, I felt butterflies in my stomach. And then of course I panicked.. because I wasn't sure if I am starting to like him again. I'm just not ready to like someone again, I don't wanna go down that road anymore, or maybe not just yet. And besides, we're really good friends, we know a lot of stuff about each other and I just wanna keep it that way.

As we continued going out with our friends, memories of me and John just piled up in my head and at first I was totally denying it, but eventually I accepted that I actually like him. It was hard to admit.. because I know for a fact that I'm not his type, not even close hahahaha </3. But something in me says that we have good chemistry because he might feel the same. I know it's wrong to give myself false hope, but just the way we connect to each other, how we bond, I can't help but to think that we actually have a shot. I know, it's a mistake and I'm just being overwhelmed by how I feel.

So I'm stuck if I should just tell him, or keep it safe and continue being friends with him.