Not happy or unhappy in LDR, is it worth waiting 2 more years? (20M 20F)
Background, my ‘20F’ and my partner ‘20 M’ starting dating in hs, we are now both part way through college, been dating a few (3-4ish) years.
We are long distance and see eachother for probably 3-4 days every 2-3 months. When we are together I’m happy and I can see myself being happy in this relationship as a long term future partner. However when we are long distance I always am just like not really happy but not unhappy either. There’s a lot of things I have compromised and we have discussed over and over again that I am not too happy about, such as when we call at night (I work early), and just generally he doesn’t tell me much about his life “bc he’s not got much going on and he’s ashamed of his job not being as awesome as it sounds” (which is valid, I understand not wanting to talk abt a situation ur not proud/happy about). Also just generally, we are very opposite people he’s out going, loud, sports type and I’m more quiet socially anxious stay at home type, as well as coming from two very different financial and social upbringings.
Anyways the point. I don’t exactly have any huge things to be unhappy about and I’m not actively unhappy, I’m just not happy either. I don’t want to leave for fear that I’m losing out on how amazing our relationship is when we are together. I have no reason to leave, no one I’m interested in obviously and no need to be single for any reason (and there’s nothing “wrong” no real reason to break up).. idk I’m not sure where to stand, got a couple years left of long distance and it’s survivable it’s just draining me mentally and I wish It was happier all the time. Also this sounds terrible, but he’s been my only ever real boyfriend, and I never liked him before we started dating, the relationship kinda accidentally started dating. A small part of me is terrified that there’s “better” out there for me someone more cohesive with me mentally, but the rational part of me says this is how relationships are, you work together and grow to make adjustments and learn how to be and love the other as we each need. Any thoughts or advice welcome?
TLDR: Me and my boyfriend started dating in high school, now are long distance. I’m happy and love it when we are in person, but am not hugely happy or unhappy either when we are long distance. Is it worth waiting 2 more years, is it dumb to wait?
Posted Jul 13, 2025, 5:14 AM UTC