Depressed & suicidal but no one knows

It’s crazy to think that one day I’ll just take my life and no one will even know the cause or why I did what I did. No one in my family knows anything about me. I’ve literally just distance myself from everyone. It’s been like this for a couple years now. Life literally fucking sucks, man I can’t live with the fact that I know I ruined my own life. Everything used to be all right it’s crazy how fast life can just humble you. I wish I could be at peace with my life, but all I seem to know how to do is fuck things up. I’m so jealous of everyone that has someone in your life and has a clear cut path. I have no direction I just wake up, trying to not kill myself. Trying to hold the act of everything being ok. Nothings ok. I’m fucking useless, waste of oxygen, fuck everything man :(