I Met a Drifter Who Walked out of the Darien Gap - [Part 9]

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l Part 6 l Part 7 l Part 8

Nephilem were half angels.  Sofia said she used to be mortal.  That was all I could focus on for a moment before I realized that my life was on the line.

“Wait, you’d just let me die?!” I shouted, struggling as hard as I could against the vicious angel Sofia’s grip, “Come on!  I didn’t even want to be here!”

“Then why walk into the doors?  Why enter The Guardian Temple?  Why not run away, as you always do?” Sofia demanded.

“I’m not running!” I shouted.  I tried to kick Sofia’s legs out from under her, to no avail.  My shin ached as I struck her body.  

Her hands held me in place more like concrete or handcuffs than hands.  Feeling solid like stone.

“Yet you do not stay in one place,” Sofia said with a grin, her iridescent eyes glowing bright, “Are you nothing but a leaf, David?  Blown by the winds of fate to land wherever they so desire?  Only to one day wither and rot on the ground?”

I narrowed my eyes on her, “I’m not running for anything, I just don’t like to stay in one place.”

“And why is that, David?  Most people are perfectly content to live in one place, some even the same place for all their lives.  What makes you so different?” Sofia questioned.

“I like helping people, and if they find God along the way, that’s a bonus,” I answered.

“Boring,” Sofia sing-songed to me, looming over me now, her wings shifting along the walls, making it appear as if the walls themselves were moving around me, closing in. “There must be more to you than that.  I refuse to believe the Temple doors opened themselves to one as meager as you.”

“The meek Shall Inherit the Earth, isn’t that what’s written?” I asked.  

“meek in body, not in mind or spirit, Mortal,” Sofia clarified, “Know you not how the Great Holy Trinity works?”

“The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” I answered, wondering if this was turning into a game of riddles.

“And do you know what that means, mortal?” Sofia asked.

“That there’s God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost,” I answered confidently, though I couldn’t help but notice her grip tightened.

“Those are the representatives of The Holy Trinity, but of course, you only repeat what the priests in Church tell you to, and you lack true understanding,” Sofia snapped, “How could one like you enter the Temple alone…” Sofia’s teeth were gritted in anger, “Now I am agitated with your mere existence here…”

I struggled, “I-”

“Why do you eat the flesh of God, Mortal?” Sofia hissed.

I paused.

The question was strange, but I had to think of it as a riddle.  A problem to solve.  

I recalled Holy Communion, which had to be what she was talking about.  Taking the Holy Host and all that.  I looked her in the eyes, “It’s from when Jesus said to eat of his body at the last supper,” I gave the answer, but I knew it was the most literal one.

Simple as it sounds, I’ve spoken to many priests, and each had their own interpretation of the Eucharist ritual.  Though none spoke of ever changing it, or even stopping the act.

Sofia scoffed, “And that is all?  You still only do as you’re told?  Not an ounce of free will in you?  You sit, and stand, and speak like a trained dog when a Priest tells you to?  Not once does the thought enter your mind as to why or how?”

“It’s not our role to question God,” I pushed.

“Did God say to sit and stand?!” Sofia narrowed her eyes, “Did God write the hymns to sing?  Did God build the Church?  Did God stand before the oven and bake every Eucharist and hand it to every parishioner and demand that they eat it?!” The room shook as Sofia spoke, “Do you think faith is a mere incantation for you to speak without thought and that within those hollow words your salvation would be delivered to you to partake in?  Would you even enjoy that salvation?  That tasteless, bland, temporary little wafer?” 

I swallowed hard.

She wasn’t wrong.  I never challenged the teachings of the Church as a kid, or adult.  I just accepted it.  As a Missionary I taught the words to some, but I always referred questions to the priests.  

I just helped give water, food, aid where I could.  It was never my place to tell people how to worship.

My hands were still trapped, if not harder than before.  Despite this I gave a feeble tug, attempting to pull away.

“Answer me, Mortal!” Sofia ordered.

“I don’t know!” I shouted.

My voice rang through the halls, echoing back to me at least two or three times.

Sofia’s anger subsided, her glowing eyes dimming slightly, though she had yet to blink.  

“I did as my family did in Church, okay?  I know the words, you’re right.  Maybe I don’t think of their meaning, but I do good works.  What more can God ask of us?” I asked.

Sofia was still for a moment before she spoke, “Of His children, of His flock, you are not one of renown or infamy.  Yet here you stand in the holiest of places.  It is the mystery I am trying to solve.  To test your mettle and see why God has chosen you to stand before me.”

“Samael is a Fallen Angel,” I said as I narrowed my eyes, “Maybe it wasn’t God who put me before you.”

Sofia gave a short exhale of dejection at me, shaking her head, “Trust me.  If the Mourning Star you speak of had anything to do with this, you’d have come with far more power and knowledge.  He does not deal in the feeble or unremarkable…” Sofia shook her head, “Thus why those who God chooses to defend must be exceptional.”

I looked at my hands, feeling weaker than I ever had before.  Oddly, my hands seemed to wither.  “Ah, w-wait what’s that?!”

Sofia looked me over, her eyes glancing to my body behind me, “Your spirit grows weak.”

I glanced at my body, noticing no change.

“Even with your eyes open, you do not see.  Even with the truth laid bare, you do not hear.  If your body and spirit fail you, think with your mind, Mortal,” Sofia challenged.  

“My mind?” I asked.

“Yes, the other piece of the puzzle,” Sofia added.

The Puzzle?

The way she spoke, I remembered I was being tested.

My spirit is growing weak, my body is just listless, so I need to use my mind.

Three pieces.

It hit me like a truck.

The Holy Trinity?  Mind, Body, and Spirit?  

Was that it?

I looked to Sofia, a bit more confident in my guess, “The Communion… It’s to strengthen the Body through faith, because The Son represents the Body.”

Sofia cracked a half smile, “The rest?”

I frowned, “The Holy Spirit is my soul, all souls.  It’s faith.”

Sofia nodded, silently.

“The Mind… That’s the Father.  The knowledge passed down…” I frowned, “All I had done was take the knowledge, and I never used it.  Just absorbed it, without thinking about it.”

“Your kind always thinks on it, but at some point many choose to avoid doing so,” Sofia said, her voice quietly echoing all around me.

“Avoid doing so?  Why?”  I asked.

The Temple began to fade away into darkness.

I looked around, confused, “What’s happening?”

“The Why,” Sofia whispered.

I saw the ceiling fade away into nothing but a black pitch.  No, it wasn’t fading, it was disintegrating!

I watched as the walls, floor, everything leading towards me began to dissolve and fall apart, leaving behind nothing.

Even Sofia’s beautiful wings slowly fizzled out of existence as the encroaching void grew ever more present.  

“Uh, S-Sofia!  What’s happening?!” I shouted in a panic, unable to move as I watched my body behind me dissolve into the void.

“Why…” Sofia’s hair, halo, and her forehead was devoured by the growing abyss, “Nothing at all.”

I couldn’t move, but even so, her face vanished and her shoulders, arms, and hands even dissolved away.

I tried to pull my hands back, but they were still stuck firmly in something. 

Then they vanished as well.

I screamed in terror as I watched my arms dissolve away, and glanced down to see my feet and legs.

I wasn’t falling down now, because there was nothing all around me.

My heart hammered in my chest as I looked around, seeing less and less of myself.

I was vanishing.  

If this was my spirit then my spirit itself was vanishing.

What did that mean?!

The terror that filled me came to a head as my face went numb, and my mouth vanished.  I attempted to scream but there was nothing to scream with.

Soon there was nothing but darkness.

I panicked, hearing nothing, unable to say anything.  My thoughts racing back and forth as the feeling of being trapped in this abyss grew ever more horrifying.

Nothing.

Oh God, that’s what Sofia was talking about.  We don’t ask questions of our faith for the fear of-

“Nothing,” Sofia’s voice echoed through the void and I opened my eyes, seeing her still holding my hands.

I fell to the ground, my knees shooting pain up through my legs and all the way to my wrists as I took deep, panicked breaths, still my hands firmly in Sofia’s as I tried to calm down.

I shook, and shivered, my vision blurring as the horror washed over me.

Was that a taste of absolution?  Of the End?

“All the terrors in the world that man has unleashed… Man Made Horror Beyond Their Comprehension, and yet, the greatest fear any Mortal can fear is their ultimate fate,” Sofia was looking down to me as I looked up at her, “The cracks in their faith that all face as they consider the greatest equalizer.”

I swallowed hard, “D-Death.”

“Yes,” Sofia said with a wry smile.  “Fear of the otherside.  Those who have seen it, or have true faith, have some fear.  Still some accept it, and think nothing of it coming.  But those who have weak faith, they do not question, for they fear the answer they will receive.” 

I gave a weak nod.

“Do you fear it?” Sofia asked, “Do you fear death’s truth?  That when your life ends, all will be reduced to nothing but ash, and that ash too shall fade away?”

I turned to look at my body behind me, and closed my eyes tightly, “Yes.  Yes, I fear death.”

“It’s natural, you know, but death only affects one part of you,” Sofia explained, “It cannot harm you as you are now.”

“As I am now?  You mean, my spirit?” I asked.

“Yes.  Your spirit, the method by which you hold your will, hopes, and dreams,” Sofia said.

Her grip has yet to release, despite her mood changing.

“Dreams?”

“It is your spirit that dreams, while your mind and body sleeps.  Some can project their spirit out, others control their dreams with their will power,” Sofia smiled, “That is how I passed this same test Samael presented to me.  With my sheer will power, the power of my spirit.”

The power of my spirit?  That was it, she wanted to see if I had a strong spirit, or if I just had the spirit of a mere sheep.

I closed my eyes and gave a heavy sigh.  I wasn’t faithless, and I wasn’t a sheep.  I was no shepard though.  I never thought of myself as a leader.

But then a thought kicked in.  Was I a wolf?  I didn’t think I was, but then I remembered what my mother told me about wolves.

If they’re trapped, a wolf would gnaw its own arm off to be free.

I looked at my hands.  I wasn’t going to gnaw anything off, I doubted Sofia would let me.

But I wasn’t going to remain trapped here.

I gritted my teeth, and pulled back against Sofia’s grip.

She didn’t move an inch.

Good.

I pulled harder.

Sofia lifted an eyebrow, “Is this your attempt at escape?”

“Not an attempt…” I groaned as I felt my shoulders crack, closing my eyes tightly as I took another step back, pulling away with all my might.

I let the strength in my arms and hands go slack, and gasped as I felt my shoulders dislocate.

“Wait, do you even understand what you’re doing?!” Sofia shouted in shock.

“I’m…Getting free of you!” I shouted, groaning as I heard a sickening rip, and then a painful tug along my shoulders and back, “At any cost!” I screamed as I pulled my body back in one swift motion.

With a horrific rip, snap, and tear, I fell backwards, knocking my head against the floor below.

I looked up to see Sofia looming over me, staring down, my hands still in hers.

As well as my arms.

I took a deep breath, glancing at my shoulders.  

I was free, my arms ripped off at the shoulders.  While I felt some pain there, I noticed no blood was pouring out of me.  

“I passed your test,” I informed her, rolling onto my knees and slowly standing.  Without my arms, that was difficult.  I glanced at my body, glad to see my arms still attached.

“Yes…” Sofia said with pause, “I did not expect that.  For you to sacrifice part of yourself for your freedom.  Perhaps there is more to you than I thought.”

I turned to Sofia, wondering if she’d return my arms to me, or if this was something long lasting.

The answer came as my arms slowly dissolved in her hands.  

“Now… Can I go?” I asked.

“Do you even realize what you’ve done to yourself, Mortal?” Sofia asked.

“I ripped my spirit’s arms off,” I stated.

Sofia nodded, “And do you have any idea what that will do to your body?”

I shook my head.

“So you did this, not knowing the consequences, but only to pass my test?” Sofia asked.

“Yes,” I answered.  

Sofia chuckled and then began to laugh, “Oh, my!  No thoughts of self preservation… but poor problem solving skills,” she grinned at me, “I enjoy you David.  It’s a shame about your arms,” she shook her head, “They’ll be limp and listless in your body.”

I sighed, looking down, “Meaning…?”

“At best, they’ll be completely numb, at worst they’ll be entirely paralyzed, and will slowly atrophy on your body,” Sofia informed.

“Thanks,” I groaned, looking at my now empty shoulders.

“But, you did pass my test, so as a reward I’ll provide you with a consolation prize,” Sofia said smugly, approaching me.

“My arms back?” I asked.

Sofia shook her head, “Oh I couldn’t restore your arms, David.  You gave them up willingly.  Nothing, not even the action of God himself, can undo such a thing.”

“Oh…” I said with a long pause.

“But,” Sofia said as she removed a pair of black  feathers from her middle wings, “Considering your self sacrificing nature, I’m feeling generous.” 

With that, she shoved the ends of the feathers into my empty sockets.

I screamed as burning hot pain radiated through my shoulders and spine, all the way down to my toes.  

I collapsed, falling forward, but stopping myself on something.

With my arms?  I opened my eyes, my vision clearing as I saw a pair of black feathery wings pushing against the ground.

I followed the dark feathers up and saw they connected to my shoulders.

I pushed off the ground, flexing the longest feathers slightly, as if they were fingers.  My arms were gone, in their place, I had wings.

“A consolation prize,” Sofia explained, “You’ll find this useful as you travel the spirit realm more readily.”

I looked at her, spreading my wings out, and flapping them, “So… My arms aren’t going to just fall off my body?”

“No,” Sofia assured, “Though I will remind you that while you have something to fill the space of your arms, they are not the same.”

I touched the ends of my long feathers together, watching them bend, and flex, and feeling the pressure back on my wing’s elbow and flesh, but nothing else, “Fingers…”

“Yes, you may find that to be a bit odd when you return,” Sofia said, approaching me, “But I give you one last edict,” Sofia said, placing her hand upon my forehead.

“Edict?” I frowned.

“Protect Cassara,” Sofia whispered, “For she is likely marked by both The Guardian Temple, and the Forces that rise against us.”

With that I was pushed backwards, towards my body.

I woke up on my cot, fully dressed, and panicked.

I rolled out of bed, slamming my shoulder into the ground and groaning.  As I tried to get up, I looked down at my hand in shock.

My fingers looked the same as they always did, but as my hand hit the ground a cold shot ran through my gut.

They were numb.  My hands had gone completely numb.