My wife is 100% to blame the only thing I’m not sure is if she ate them or she fed them to my kids as treats/bribery. 

I opened them both… I opened the original SPK’s when I got them. Then I got these rocket flavoured ones from another friend and I was curious so I opened them to try them. But I rolled 90%+ of the bag up and tucked them in the corner of the snack cupboard for later…. Today was later. I am off tomorrow, had a couple glasses of wine and wanted to enjoy some sweet and sour treats. 

The bags were still where I left them… the SPKs were not. 

My kids do not go into the snack cupboard. They know better. And honestly they don’t like sour stuff that much so I’m leaning heavily toward my wife “picking” at these bags one sour child at a time until there were none left in either bag. 

The smart play would be to discard the bags so I would never find them and then gaslight me to believe they never existed or that I ate them all during my bday celebrations in a blind drunken sugary feast. 

But instead it was crinkled bags that initially felt like they had a couple kids left but it was just all the sugar nesting in the corners of the bags. 

I believe I will retaliate by using her best exfoliating face wash on my ass cheeks. I mean it still gives her some benefit cause my cheeks will be soft and smooth for her… So I don’t think that’s too harsh. I just want her to go and pump her last pump to exfoliate her T zone only to find the bottle empty and then I’ll jump into the bathroom. And tell “all gone I used it to scrub my   Zitty ass!…” 

 Fair I think 

My got 2 bags of SPK’s for my bday a week ago. They are both empty….