I always thought I understood sarcasm really well, but now I'm not so sure that I do

Im 25 (f) , and living with my fiance for the past 6 years. I never truly felt as though I fit the more typical criteria for autism but as I get older and learn to better communicate with my partner, I've realized that I do. I think that my perception of how said criteria should look is too litteral.

I understand sarcasm , but only when it's been made clear by the use of a heavily sarcastic tone or if someone laughs / gives a quick smirk after they've said something.

I notice it with my partner the most. He's a very sarcastic person which I love as I find his sense of humor very funny , but I've also noticed that there are times where he will say things (jokingly) but if his face , tone, and vibe don't like up correctly , I find myself bawling and hurt because I will take what he says as a serious statement / comment when in reality he was just joking.

This has caused a lot of issues as I go from 0 to 100 when upset , especially if I feel that I'm being personally "attacked", and I feel so bad for it. He doesn't mean to upset me but my brain doesn't connect the dots correctly all the time.

I will say however he has been amazing! He's trying to hard to find better ways of communicating with one a other (I'm trying too! I don't think it's fair to expect him to do all the work to understand me , I want us to understand each other).

Another thing I took literally was routine. I don't have a step by step routine each day. I do however have routines broken up across my day. Eg. I must shower daily or I can't function, I must lay out all of my things the night before going anywhere , shoes , socks , sick bags , fidgets etc , and I will only each a small rotation of the same foods. There are other things but not as note worthy.

I dunno it's just funny coming to the realization that I took the criteria so litterally that I convinced myself that I was an imposter.