losing progress - URGENT.

TRIGGER WARNING

Hi all. I’m looking for reassurance but also just venting. I had been doing SO WELL with my panic attacks and anxiety. SO FUCKING WELL.

And then today. I ate a ramen cup, had a bit of a ghost energy (barely any) and then took dayquil because my allergies were giving me hell. I was queasy and feverish for hours after with a couple hours of a break.

Now we’re here. About an hour ago I felt a lump in my throat, a warm one, and it felt like it was trying to come up.

Immediately I sat up and started crying and panicking and shaking. I tried everything. Mint gum, mint oils, rubbing alcohol, sour gum, and even unfortunately self harm. Nothing helped. I called my fiance and sobbed for 30 minutes and felt a little better but it came back full swing.

Then, I took benadryl to help relax me (doctor cleared this) and as I tried taking it with a mouthful of applesauce, I nearly gagged trying to swallow it. My throat as been croaking too. I’m panicking so fucking bad.

I am so sick of this and I hate that I went backwards. I am so scared and don’t wanna throw up.

Please help me.