My dad moved out after my parents separated and I feel like I’m grieving

I found out a year ago my parents were separating, and now, for financial reasons, my dad (63) has actually moved out. Even though my family has never really been happy, a part of me held out hope. I honestly didn’t think this would actually happen at least not for a long time.

It feels like I’m grieving, everything reminds me that he isn't at home anymore. When I asked my dad why he left, he told me he wanted to be a teenager again and find love. I felt really angry and scared. I hate the idea of him being with someone else, and having to accept them as part of my family.

He keeps sending me pictures of little things in his new flat, like a coaster. They just remind me that he’s not at home and that he isn't coming back. A part of me is relieved, as they were bad together. I just wished they could have fixed it, I always wanted a happy family like some of my friends have.

My mum (58) is heartbroken and I've been her 'therapist' for years, listening to her complain about him. It's exhausting and while she isn't always wrong in her criticism of him its hard to hear her call him a bastard.

Also I am religious and am scared of what my community will think about me and if getting married will be hard. People are just really cautious.

I’m staying with a friend now until uni starts, which I’m grateful for, but I feel bad for not wanting to call or talk to either of them. I just… don’t want to deal with it. I don’t know what’s “normal” anymore. I feel like there has been one shock after the other. And no one really understands. Thanks.