I don’t want to ask my mom for therapy, because do I really need it?

I’m human, I get worries sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I have no real friends, sometimes I just want to have someone to tell my worries too, sometimes I want to listen to someone’s worries so that they don’t feel like they have to keep everything to themselves. Most of the time I wish someone knew what is happening in my head. But I don’t want to ask my mom for therapy because I know therapy is expensive, and I know she tried to get me into it when I was 7-11 ages because her divorce was starting to have an effect on my sister and I. I don’t want to ask her now because I feel like I’m taking up someone else’s time that they could’ve used to help someone with more issues than me, I’m taking up my moms money when she could be using it for other more important things. I feel like my need to be heard isn’t important enough to reach out to anyone. I’ve listened to several of my classmates cry and cry while talking about the things they’ve been through, I would rather a therapist help someone who’s been through more than I have. I don’t feel “traumatized enough” (I can’t think of a better way to describe it) compared to anyone else I can think of that I deserve to have the resources of therapy spent on me. Because I don’t want to be the person who when the therapist has to schedule someone in or anything, that the other person can’t get the help they need because I’m feeling a little sad. I feel guilty thinking about asking my mom, going to the first session, and wasting the therapists time when they could’ve helped literally anyone else. And I hate, hate, hate, how because my mom knows her divorce has affected my sister and I somewhat, she’s willing to jump through all of the hoops for me. I don’t want her to have to bend over backwards for me. I don’t want her to have to choose between something that might not even help me at all or literally anything else. I feel like the worst part, is that I don’t know if therapy could even help me. I don’t know if when I sit down at that first session, anything I’m feeling suddenly becomes invalid. I think what I’m worried about is not being worth it. I don’t think I’ve “been through enough” to NEED therapy.

Thank you for reading this if you did, and even if you didn’t thank you for clicking on this. If sentences feel like they’re answering themselves as they go, that’s because I wrote this all in one shot, no going back, only if I made a typo. ❤️ If you feel the need to comment on anything I said, even to degrade what I’ve said, please please please do I appreciate it no matter how mean you think it is