Is it cheating if she told me about the AP?

Long story short, my wife feels she wasn’t unfaithful because she was open about having feelings for someone else (her work colleague) and believed we were/are separated at the time, because I moved out after she lied about spending a night away with him - even though she insists she never slept with him, not until recently. From her perspective, she feels it wasn’t cheating because she was open about it, and even suggested an open relationship at one point. But given the circumstances, that we are still legally married, and that I had moved out after thinking she had cheated on me that night away, would this still be considered cheating? I feel like I am being gaslighted.