Dad withdrew from family visit after I refused to drive him

I’m not sure if my dad is a narcissist clinically, but he has had a longstanding pattern of emotional avoidance. My relationship with him is filled with history and a lot of hurt. I don’t feel safe with him.

Today, we were coordinating logistics to visit my brother. We were texting in a group chat, and I mentioned that I would be driving separately. My dad then messaged me privately and asked if I could drive him, citing health concerns (he’s a stroke survivor). He said he’s been experiencing dizziness lately and doesn’t want to become too tired. He has his own car, and we live in different places.

I was hesitant at first, but ultimately I decided to say no, because it felt like I was being manipulated into sharing a confined space with him. There’s just no way to know how much of his concern is genuine and how much is guilt-tripping or subtle manipulation. So I chose to protect my emotional well-being and sent him this message:

“Sorry, Dad. I’m going to drive separately. I understand your concern about your health; however, I believe you’re also an adult capable of driving yourself or figuring out other arrangements that feel right for you. Driving separately is simply what feels more comfortable for me at this time. I also would like to respectfully say that it’s important that my choices as an adult are respected. Going through my mom to try to change my decision wouldn’t be okay. I’m exercising my autonomy, and I hope you understand. Looking forward to seeing you at [location].”

His reply was:

“In that case, I am not going. I don’t want to see you at this time. I will arrange my own visit.”

I responded with:

“Sounds good. Just to be clear - I’m not responsible for your decisions. Those are yours to make.”

Now I’m going to visit my brother alone, which is fine, I guess.

I hope I didn’t do anything wrong