Some things every woman (men) should know before getting married and having kids.

This isn’t a cautionary post about how women should protect themselves or whether marriage is good or bad. I’m not writing this as a grown woman with opinions on relationships.I’m writing this as a wounded child who once watched her parents’ marriage unravel under the weight of external pressures.

My parents weren’t a perfect couple, but they weren’t bad people either. Maybe they could have been happy if their families had just left them alone or if they had learned to set boundaries. No child should have to witness their parents yelling, fighting, or accusing each other of things they don't fully understand. That kind of chaos leaves marks.

This is for both men and women.

1. When you get married, your spouse should be your priority . You're starting a new family with them, and that relationship has to be the priority. Your parents and siblings are still important, but they become your extended family. Setting clear boundaries with both sides is really important if you want things to work out peacefully.

2. Helping your siblings is one thing,but constantly giving them money while neglecting your own spouse and kids is something else entirely. If you allow your siblings to manipulate you and put your own family's future at risk because of it, you’re not being a good sibling, you’re being an a$$hole who’s ruining your own family for the sake of others.

3. For God’s sake, build a strong relationship with your spouse before having a baby. Raising a child is basically a full-time job, and you and your partner need to be on the same page. If your marriage already feels rocky or unstable, don’t bring a child into that chaos ,it’s not fair to the baby.

This is for the women with brothers..

1) We’ve seen so many women being mistreated by their mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. While I can somewhat understand it coming from MILs because they’re from an older generation, what’s really disappointing is seeing women from our generation, the SILs, continuing the same toxic behavior.If you have a brother and he gets married, be kind to his wife. Be welcoming. And if your mother is acting like a typical MIL, speak up. Tell her it’s wrong. It’s time we break the cycle instead of continuing it.

2) If your brother and bhabhi are living with your parents, and you're just visiting, please don’t expect princess treatment. Don’t dump all the household work on your bhabhi. She’s not your maid, she’s part of the family. Be respectful, help out, and treat her kindly.

3) Don't expect your elder brother to take loan to fund your dream wedding.

This is for women who are going to have kids ( not applicable for childfree couple)

 1) Don’t marry a douche. So many women willingly marry men with clear red flags,all in the name of LOVE...bs That’s not love, that’s self-sabotage. Good job woman , you’ve not only ruined your own life but also your child’s.You may have chosen that life, but what did the poor child do to deserve it? If you knowingly bring a child into the world with a man you already know is toxic, remember you’ve robbed that child of the chance to have a good father.

2) If you married a douche without realizing it and ended up having a kid, please leave him. Don’t stay in a toxic marriage for the sake of your child your kid will thank you one day for choosing peace over chaos.

3) If your marriage is already unstable and you want a kid to fix it, you’re making a huge mistake. Kids aren’t glue. They won’t save your marriage, they’ll just get caught in the mess.

Protect your womb, women,not just for yourself, but for your future child. Don’t procreate with toxic men. Don’t rob your child of the chance to have a loving, responsible father. They deserve better from the very beginning.

Please, please show love in front of your kids. Go on dates, dance together, laugh openly. Let your child see that their parents love each other and are in a happy marriage.You know what the biggest blessing in the world is? Growing up in a stable, loving home with parents who are madly in love. Don’t rob your children of that because of your poor choices.