AITA for deliberately being “mean” to my dad

My mother and I have had a terrible relationship she left when I was 7 and I haven seen her since. I live with my father, my 2 younger sisters, my grandparents, my uncles and aunts, and my great grandmother. As you can see it’s a very busy house hold and everyone who lives here (other then my father and siblings) are on my mothers side.

Me and father have a “iffy” relationship. I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community and I have my political beliefs that my father disagrees with. The thing that irritates me is his “I’m always right AND better than you” attitude. That is why I don’t talk to him about politics anymore. Other things that irritate me are his blatant disrespect for my grandmother who houses me him and my siblings. He pays less rent for 4 rooms in a house than most adults do and he can’t even bother to do the dishes. If I say something I get yelled at and in trouble (which isn’t ideal) and if I don’t my grandmother complains to me about him.

My dad also has had issues with dating as I’ve mentioned my mother left when I was young so he never had a partner he ended up dating my old best friends mom (she was my BFF at the time) and that destroyed me and my friends relationship bc of how much we were forced to hang out and it ruined me and my dads relationship bc her mom was weird and long story short called me at 12:00 am to tell me how much she “loved me” then when they broke up they kept “secretly” dating for MONTHS (he was terrible at hiding so I found out) but he would sleep at her house then be to tired to do things like cook dinner for his kids

Unfortunately I believe my father is also homophobic. He says that he’s not and he accepts me but he has political views that are questionable and the music he listens to/ comments he makes has me to believe other wise. This isn’t as detrimental as he was raised this way by his grandparents. I understand that’s not his fault and in the category I believe he’s trying

He also has an issue with priorities I am a minor and I find myself having to “help him” with seemingly normal tasks. for example I’ll have to remind him not to spend 50 dollars on golf clubs when his car insurance went up 30%. Or when he is yelling at my sister for something she never did and I have to defuse the situation

This is a very small under exaggerated version of my day- to -day and now over time I have begun to develop a resentment of sorts. I don’t want to spend time with him/go anywhere with him.

My grandmother who vents to me about him (she is the only mother figure in my life we are very close) told me I was being “mean to him” now this made me very angry. I feel that I haven’t expressed the kind of things he’s done to me well enough on here but I don’t have therapy for a while and it’s 1:32 AM and I need a vent TvT

So I must ask am I the asshole?