Sometimes I hate being fluid

Sometimes I hate being genderfluid. I'm amab and I very rarely go through phases where I feel more female or more male. So I have very long phases where I'm about to start hrt and come out publicly. I also dress very feminine in them etc.. But then after a few months, I'm feeling more male again and wonder what I was thinking when I even wanted to start taking hormones.

I'm simply fed up with this constant change. It's just so exhausting to feel so uncomfortable with everything from one moment to the next.

How do you deal with it? Do you also have problems with changing your perceived gender?