Debilitating anxiety over a lot of things

My anxiety has many sources, and I’ve gone to the ER and a cardiologist due to it. Here are my anxieties:

1. Health anxiety. This one has a lot of elements with the overall theme of health. I freak out eating too much or eating something unhealthy because I worry it’ll hurt my body and particularly my heart and kill me.

2. Heart anxiety. I worry when my bpm is too high, whether it’s just high because I’m physically active, or when I’m resting/not doing anything and it’s anywhere from 90 to 130. I think I experience palpitations and/or a high heart rate and it terrifies me. I feel like my heart will suddenly stop, or I’ll have a heart attack or something.

3. Death anxiety. I’m TERRIFIED of death because I’m scared of no longer existing, of the ending of my consciousness and memories and my life with the people I love. I’m scared that I’ll never exist again. And I’m scared that I’ll suddenly die due to my physical symptoms or that something underlying is secretly/slowly/will suddenly kill me.

4. Sleep anxiety. Sleep = unconsciousness, which ties into my death anxiety. I also experience hypnic jerks, which keep me up and fuel my anxiety/panic. Feeling like my heart stopped or I stopped breathing riiiight as I’m about to fall asleep. So I developed an anxiety for the process of falling asleep, bedtime, nighttime, all that stuff. I’ve actually slowly improved this one, showing myself I always wake up, and I’m always okay before/during/after sleep. But nights like tonight will randomly let all the anxiety flood back in.

5. Feeling “off” or “wrong.” I don’t know how else to word it. I deal with it almost 24/7. I think I deal with derealization? It’s a horrible feeling. Logic doesn’t ever combat it for me.

6. Unable to let my guard down. I worry that when I’m finally doing well, when I start to feel okay, my anxiety will come back and push me back down to rock bottom. Or that in letting my guard down, death will finally come and take me. It’s an extremely unhealthy and debilitating “shield” against worse anxiety and/or death.

Yes, I grasp that the most likely death for myself right now would be too much stress and anxiety, and that I’d likely be saving myself if I got over these anxieties, but it’s difficult when I think I’m doing well and then I’ll suddenly have a panic attack. The derealization, the racing heart, involuntary shaking, racing thoughts and pure panic. If I’m doing great and having a good day/week/month and then suddenly spiral in a panic, who’s to say I won’t suddenly die? Sometimes things happen with no known reason. It can be subconscious, underlying, unchecked/un-taken care of, etc etc.

This post is one big paranoid rambling, but I’m so tired of thinking I’m okay and then I’m not. How do I heal my anxieties? Will I live with this forever? How do I combat anxieties that my brain fuels with logical realistic points of negative possibilities?