UPDATE: AITAH: my grandpa's wife wants to talk to me because I went no contact with my parents and I am LIVID

You can see the original post for context and previous messages here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1lwf607/aitah_my_grandpas_wife_wants_to_talk_to_me/

I added the translation of the messages that were sent after this here: https://imgur.com/a/b1HnZju (sorry for the length omg)(this sub doesn't let me upload pictures directly here, sorry). The first message was sent by me (because I wanted to set a firmer boundary) and then two messages by my grandpa. I only received them yesterday night and I haven't fully processed any of it, so I am in no state to respond - and advice is super welcome. I did talk to my girlfriend about it so that I could vent, and here are a few thoughts I have about it:

- My grandpa "didn't want to be involved", yet 1) the message was sent in a groupschat that he's a part of 2) my dad is HIS son (not his wife's) and 3) he spent at least 1.5 hours typing all of this - which is a lot of effort for someone who wants to be left out of this "nonsense" (their words)

- He spent a lot of time being offended about how I "talked to his wife", claiming that he thought I "knew them better" and that I should have known how she meant what she said. This made me so pissed right off the bat because if you read the original messages, it was his wife who approached me without an ounce of respect and I think my initial response to her was WAY calmer and more polite than she deserved; the second one even more so. I hate it when people attack your tone/response to something THEY did wrong.

- I apparently should have also just known that the "intervention" was not initiated by them, but it was discussed with my parents first. He spent a lot of time being offended about this as well, because how could I have thought they would "just" insert themselves?!?! 1) ehm.....maybe MENTION you talked to my parents and discussed this? 2) I'm sure they didn't hold a g*n to your head, like c'mon you could have used some critical thinking and come to the conclusion it was NOT a good/appropriate idea to get involved and 3) I think I have been very clear in emphasising that it was about the WAY they approached this (lacking respect, compassion, etc).

- Another thing that apparently offended/hurt them (are you guys also noticing the pattern of playing the victim, or...?) is the fact that it's "so hard for them to be between a son and a granddaughter that are not on good terms". Ok boohoo, if it's already so hard for you, then imagine how hard it is for me and maybe put your own feelings aside for a bit?

- The point that he was trying to make is that my parents "don't understand why I chose to go no contact" and they "don't know what they have to do to make it right" and they are basically saying that that's why the ball is in my court - because I owe it to them to communicate this/explain myself. Now this is the part that REALLY drove me absolutely nuts because yeah, if you put it like that, I can understand why someone might be on their side. If I just randomly decided to stop talking to them for no apparent reason, that would in most cases make me an absolute b*tch. HOWEVER. If my parents, after all of these years, STILL don't know "what they did wrong" and "what they can do to make it right", then that's really not on me anymore. I have had countless of (attempts at) conversations with them, sometimes they even claim to understand me, and it really baffles me that they still claim to not know what's going on. I think this is an incredibly convenient position to take (VICTIMHOOD! AGAIN!) and I can see why that makes my grandpa + his wife resent me. I just thought they were more emotionally intelligent than this, apparently not.

- The rest of his messages are just full of audacity and entitlement and disrespect honestly. They communicated all sorts of expectations they now have of me and they even said they would not talk to me until I "fix this". This is highly freaking manipulative and inappropriate. But jokes on them, I am not a child anymore and this doesn't get to me that much anymore. If they want to do it like this, they can have it. This is really not going to make me take my boundaries back. All it does is that they will lose one of their grandchildren.

- I am at a crossroad what to do next. I kind of don't want to waste anymore energy on this and I am also old enough to (mostly) know who I am. I know I am entitled to my boundaries, my peace, and I should not have to justify myself. Still, I feel VERY strongly about injustice and it's incredibly hard for me to not want to put people in their place. It's kind of all or nothing now for me, it's either "ok, your loss", or I would want to go hard and tell them EVERYTHING - just to make them really think about what they did. These people don't know I was diagnosed with literal BPD (BECAUSE OF CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL NEGLECT) last year, and in a world where this diagnosis is such a bad thing, part of me wants to really rub this in their faces (not to mention my mom likely also has BPD and I have been her "favourite person" (FP) ever since I can remember).

I am trying really hard not to feel crazy, as it seems that no one is really on my side (apart from my girlfriend and roughly 50 people on my other Reddit post lol). However, I am convinced that my parents just really succeeded well into manipulating my grandpa and his wife so that they feel sorry for them and I can be the bad guy. Any reassurance from you all would really still be appreciated though 🤠

AITAH now?!