I feel like I've let everyone down.

I won't go into it, but I've thrown away my life. And as much as that sucks, I'm also devastated that I've let everyone down. All my heroes and all the people in life, I've let them down. All the positivity they represent? I just spit on it and said fuck that. And I didn't even put up a fight, I just threw it away for night. I'm a disgrace.