Trauma anniversary

Today marks 3 years since I was sexually assaulted and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I've been going insane these past few weeks leading to today. My anxiety has been beyond the roof, flashbacks are coming back clearer than ever, I start crying out of nowhere for what feels like hours, and I feel like I'm even getting physically ill. I've survived the past two anniversaries so why do I feel worse than ever today? I keep on replaying in my head the weeks, days, and hours leading to the assault. I don't do it intentionally but it's just something that won't stop. For my perpetrator July 17th might just be another random day of the year, but it's the day the world ended for me. I can't deny that I've made so much healing and progress these past three years. I'm so proud of myself for doing it all and the life I've rebuilt for myself, but I feel like I'm falling apart this week and especially today. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this with all except for my cat who has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on when I vent to her. Also, my birthday is in two weeks and I had originally wanted to celebrate it but the excitement and motivation has completely left me to which I sadly no longer care about. I'm trying so hard to remember and make a list of the things I've learned in therapy these past few years but my mind is completely blank right now. I feel everything and nothing all at once. I have work today but I'm planning on getting the day off on Saturday and do something that may help me get through this. To anyone who can unfortunately relate to this, what is something that has helped you with dealing with your trauma anniversary? How do you cope with such a traumatizing reminder of what shouldn't have happened? Any advice would be greatly appreciated