i feel like i’m unable to support my loved ones

basically every time my loved ones struggle with something i shut down verbally and have a really hard time saying anything useful or supportive to them. my mind goes completely blank and i can only shake my head in response or provide monosyllabic answers to their complaints. it happens even when people text me instead of having a conversation in real life. i feel like a shitty person because of this, especially after my stepmother had a health problem. i managed to support her through a message (i spent 3 days concocting it…), but today she came back from the hospital and i just don’t know what to say to her. knowing she probably thinks that i just don’t care makes me extremely upset. it’s not true. i care. i just struggle with communication and empathy so much, meanwhile my compassion and empathy skills are through the roof.

what can i do? how do i learn to support people around me?