Frustrations... but also some positivity

I don't want to come here just to bitch and moan. Too much of that. So I will throw in some posivity after my rant.

I am a bit tired of so many profiles saying "I just want a good man" or "I just want an honest man" "kind" etc.

I have gotten close to 3 different women since being divorced. The first one was whirlwind romance. I honestly thought she was going to be the one. Then we talked and she said "I am scared, I can't be in a relationship right now. I am sorry. You are so honest and nice. You are the best man I have ever met in my life." Then comes girl number 2. We hit it off. We see each other 3 times and sleep together all 3 times. She calls it off. Says "you are so sweet and nice. you are such a great guy, but I am too busy and can't do this right now" she calls it off. Girl number 3. Two great first dates. Day long sightseeing dates. GREAT! You guessed it, "I didn't tell you this, but I suffer from really bad deppression. You are such a sweet and nice guy, but I realized I can't date anyone right now"

Then you see all these other women "hey I just want a sweet and nice guy" won't match with you... Its like. HELLO!!!! I am right fucking here!!!

Okay so what is so positive about all this. Its been a great learning experience. And I have loved meeting new people. I have been on about 8 first dates so far. And at first I was really negative about it all. But I realized you really need to enjoy this. Go at with a positive attitude. The first girl I mentioned, we are still friends. And she has actually had a profound effect on my life. It was hard getting over what could have been, but in many ways, she also showed me how to live my life again. The second girl... yeah. Its too bad. But the sex was amazing and it was something I really needed after leaving a nearly sexless marriage. It really showed me how incompatible intimacy-wise I was with my ex. I realized I have to A: stop putting my happiness in other peoples hands. B: Go out there and live life, you only get one C: approach dating like a hobby, not a job. D: have fun and enjoy meeting new people. And some failed dates might turn into friendships. And those friendships... could lead to meeting THEIR friends, who might be single. Don't swipe on every pretty face. Swipe on profiles on people you think you will connect with. For bumble, I spend extra money on comments. Leaving comments seems to really make the difference for me to match with people. But also go find new hobbies, go to live shows, don't let age dictate what you do or who you are. TRUST me, easier said than done. I look in the mirror every day. Age is on my mind all the time. But I still fight the urge to let my age dictate my life. I tell myself everyday "I am not dead yet!"