Pakistani Muslim Parents - Guilt and Shame

I’m so tired of feeling guilty and shamed for being an awful person.

Every time I go back to my Muslim parents’ house they tell me I’m a sin that I’ve ruined everything that Allah is going to condemn me for living with a white man while unmarried. My mom tells me stories of other young women found dead and says that’ll be me someday. She says I’m going to face karma for what I’ve done to my parents. Me graduating law school and almost becoming a lawyer doesn’t negate the fact that I’m a worthless human being in their eyes. I’m so upset all the time just thinking about these things it makes me very suicidal. I don’t know what to do. Medications and therapy only take me so far I don’t know what to do.