Am I a cheater? 37f, 42m

I 37f, am married to a 42m. I love him so much. He is literally the best person. He takes acts of service seriously.

My love language is words of affirmation s and he struggles. We also struggle with physical affection.

I would not give up my guy for the world.

I started talking g to a person, gender unknown, about some favorite topics my husband does not share. It turned sexual. I was not into it at first. I played along. And it was stimulating for the attention, I admit. But I really don’t know. My therapist says it is because of my abuse that I went along with it without feelings. And that I can opt out and say no. I dont know that I believe that. I think I should have stopped talking when I found out this was a man.

I tried to set a boundary. I said go back to what we had before. But I still want the attention.

How do I stop this and deal with my feelings? Cause it doesn’t really matter why. I am just a cheater.