Using German as a Coping Mechanism, anybody?

Hello everyone. Hope y'all vibing great today~

Now, I'm an overly anxious person. When I'm in public and going through something sad/feeling overwhelemd by life, I'm paranoid that my "negative" frustrations may irritate my environment (like people looking weird at me, side-eyeing me while I'm talking at myself in anger, or hearing what I'm saying as some gossip).

Therefore, since I know there is a low probability of German speaking people in my city, I curse in German/English.

I want to be an emotionally mature adult. So, I just have been venting my frustrations on my journal and, if possible, translating and rewriting common sentences like "I feel sad today = Ich bin heute traurig" over and over again.

Whenever I'm "triggered", I just go to the
habit of learning German. It is kind of like my safe space, nobody (most likely) is going to understand what I'm saying or looking and reading at my journal.