Wedding win - MIL behavior was NOT tolerated

Hi all! I posted my story on here about a week or so ago and received so many supportive comments, so first off I want to say thank you and express how grateful I am to have found this community. Just knowing that I'm not alone in my struggles is comforting. So on that note, I'd like to share a big win from last year when we were planning our wedding.

My MIL had a huge meltdown last year when we were planning our wedding. It was triggered by the "dress shopping" experience not going the way she wanted, along with a bunch of other pent-up emotions from not getting her way. I planned to do my dress shopping in Florida so that my MIL and SILs, plus my own family could be a part of it (that's where they all live). An issue arose where we could only have 5 guests in the shop at one time (our total was 7) or else we would have to pay a ridiculous price for a "VIP experience". My solution was to swap out family members so that everyone could go to at least 2 appointments (I had 3 appts that day).

My MIL did not like that plan bc she felt entitled to be at all of them and then completely backed out from the appointments altogether (plus SILs). She then proceeded to text my husband while he was at work saying that they would no longer be going dress shopping with me because they were too big of an inconvenience. She also proceeded to make up a lie that I was happy that my SILs couldn't make it to my bachelorette party (one had just started her first year of teaching and the other has a kid so it just didn't work out for them and they never seemed mad about it). AND that I was making the whole wedding about me and what I want (which duh... I'm the BRIDE. But also this was just not true, I was being extremely accommodating).

That set us BOTH off. My husband was pissed that she was bothering him at work and involving him in what he viewed as "pointless drama" that had nothing to do with him. I showed him our text threads and he agreed that my solution was completely reasonable. He then told me that he'd handle the situation since he was now involved and because he knows how his mom can be, which I gladly let him do. When he called her, he tried to calmly explain that my solution made sense and that the other things she brought up were untrue. This sent her into a FIT of tears and she kept saying "just forget it, just forget it". This really pissed him off and he yelled at her telling her she needed to "grow up and stop being so sensitive".

The call ended with no resolution because his mom was sobbing and refusing to talk about it. A few days went by and I tried reaching out to her via text to see if she wanted to talk, and nothing. She completely ghosted us for a full week, but proceeded to post photos in the family group chat of her knee brace and tiara she bought for her birthday that was coming up. This really pissed me off because I'm the type of person who wants to talk and resolve conflicts immediately, especially over something so pointless... I see now that these moves were strategic and are straight from the narc MIL playbook.

Eventually, my husband forced them all to get on a FaceTime call (MIL, FIL and SILs. Somehow they were all involved in the drama at this point). My MIL sat on the call crying and silent making one of the SILs and FIL speak for her. It was extremely childish and it took everything in me not to roll my eyes. I won't get into everything we discussed, but long story short, she played the victim saying that she didn't feel involved enough in the wedding. We held our ground and told her that we were handling all the wedding planning ourselves and hadn't asked for help from any family members, letting her know it wasn't personal. We also make sure to let her know that we would continue to handle all the planning ourselves, but would share updates with her to help her feel more involved. And that was that.

After that, she went into "good behavior mode" and started keeping her criticisms and opinions to herself, along with showering me with performative "love". I think that interaction proved to her that my husband would stand by me and that her childish behavior would not be tolerated. Also, if she wants a good relationship with her son, she needs to respect me. I know this won't be the last meltdown we'll have to deal with BUT at least it put her in her place for the time being, which gives me hope for the rest of our marriage. And hopefully it gives some of you guys hope for your situations as well. ❤️