Sometimes I am reminded and I don’t need to be.

I’ve been sober for 3.5 years. Today I (38,F) was talking to my mom about how I was at a concert last night with a friend and realized that the tall boy beers were $8-12 and I saw some people go up to the alcohol tent multiple times. I was like, damn thats expensive. My mom immediately said “I’m so glad you don’t drink anymore. You’d call me when you were drunk and you sounded like aunt Joann!”

Aunt Joann was my great aunt who was alcoholic, diabetic, and did not take care of herself. Sometimes she would get drunk and call our house when I was a kid.

What I didn’t tell my mom is that I don’t remember most of my drunk phone calls. My mom has done this before, brought up previous behavior that is not part of me anymore…and it pisses me off and makes me feel so much shame. I apologized to her multiple times in my years since quitting alcohol and it doesn’t seem to matter. She has to keep rubbing it in my face. I don’t know what to say anymore. I left that version of myself in the dust a long time ago. Also, thank yall for your support over the years. I haven’t posted in a long time. I was recently diagnosed with PMDD and my anxiety & depression have been kicking in this week.