Fwb or feelings? 21f 20m

Hey reddit, I’m making this on a throwaway account because my main account could potentially be spotted by him or his friends. I would love an unbiased opinion on my situation with a guy because I feel like everyone I ask irl is biased.

Me F21 and this guy M20 have known each other for 6 years. For the majority of the time I have known him I have been in two long term relationships. He has always complimented me and saved my photos and snapchat but nothing ever came of it. Regardless I went to college out of state so this past year school year we didn’t see each other at all. Would text very rarely. Well me and my most recent ex broke up in early may because of this, family trips, and just missing home I came down for the summer. I told him we broke up because he was an irl and it was the same as me telling anyone else I did. Well that’s when we started talking more but he had a girlfriend so I kept my space.

Anyways we both got invited to go to a beach party and we drove together. On the drive down he told me about how he was struggling with his gf at the time and came to realization that he didn’t want to be with her anymore. That he didn’t wana be in a relationship at all so he could be free and live life. I recommended to talk to her but also if you already have that mindset do her the luxury of letting her go. The beach thing was very fun, lots of drinking and lots of sun. During the beach trip is when I started picking up hints. He was touchy, around me the entire time, and complimenting me. I got asked twice if we were dating. I blew it off as us both being tipsy and he was also high at some point. The drive home I hit a cart and was unable to drive myself home so he ended up driving my car back to my place and ubering back. We hugged and that was that. This took place on June 23rd.

After this is when it got more flirty. We were calling every single night and playing games with each other till 3-5 am. Then he was adamant about us going together and cleaning my car, we did. Then he wanted me to go the store with him I did. He was buying me food. The saving of picture and compliments increased. This is over like a two week period btw. Then it happened. June 1st he asked to call me one night, said he was upset, they broke up. I was there for him and we played games late. We agreed we wanted to like actually hang n do something. He said he wanted to go back to the beach with me so we did except he no longer had anything holding him back this was on July 5th. To be fair we drank a lot but he ended up kissing me and it lead to us making out a ton and ended with marks on my neck. We did nothing more. But this is when the hand holding, messing with my hair, forehead kissing, and just constant touching started.

We continued to hang out and play games super late into the night but after the beach every time we hung out we would end up making out. The compliments and touching continued, sweet talking was evident, wanting to talk to him, ect. Well last week I went out of the country for six days. We hung out the night before I left and that night stuff got sexual and he only did stuff to me. I did nothing to him but was huge for me because I have never done anything with anyone i’m not dating. Anyways I left and throughout those six days he would text me when we could and even called me three times despite the 7 hour time difference and streamed him playing video games. He told me he was excited for me to get back and couldn’t wait to see me.

I got back two days ago. We hung out except this time we did the deed. Again my first time doing it outside of a relationship. He was just focused on me the entire time and was asking if I was comfortable blah blah. I say this because I don’t want it to come off as I was used a cum dumpster basically. Sex is sex to me. However something that caught my attention was he finished in me. That’s fine i’m on bc, I don’t really care. But he said it was the first time he had ever done it and it was with me???

Some cons before I finish. I think the thing that bothers me the most and makes me confused about his intentions is he essentially acts like a boyfriend. However, he doesn’t text me much during the day but tbf he works almost everyday until 7:30. Like for example he hasn’t texted me once today and it’s 3pm. Maybe some people just don’t see texting as a priority or maybe i’m downplaying that to save my feelings.

Regardless I leave to go back to college in 8 days for my last year, yay! But I don’t wana do long distance, a part of me doesn’t wana be in a relationship either, just like he said he did not want to. But why does it bother me when he doesn’t answer? Why do i want to see him more? Why do i miss him and I’m upset I’m leaving? I don’t want to care, especially if he is adamant about not wanting to be in relationship cause then I would be falling for a guy who just wants fwb. But is he giving fwb vibe or more? I just wana know yalls opinions for a sense of clarity and to better help me make a decision for what I do next. Thanks.