r/AITAH•
re_0_0_

Maybe a bit silly but AITAH for leaving a friend behind?

Advice Needed

Well as good as I can word it. I met a person during uni entrance exams and well we stayed friends for the entirety of semester 1 but some questionable things happened and I decided to build some distance between us cause interacting with them made me feel gross in a way? Ig in a way I'm wondering am I a stuck up? Cause I've always thought this should be the norm.

What happened is I met her and she seemed nice at first so I decided to try and talk to her and she seemed interested. Problem is she has done and said questionable things, well to me objectively bad, but apparently they're not so questionable to her. And she hangs out around those disgusting guys that I typically avoid. To list them:

1- she's rasict. Well when you call her out on it, makes it seem as a joke but there was this one time where she didn't even try and make it seem as a joke. She just said out of nowhere "might be controversial but if we were completely honest brown people are disgusting" and then just went on with that. She said it around me and her other gross friend. I didn't participate in the conversation then and just left cause I was like wtf...

2- She thinks pedophilia jokes are funny? We're walking by a school and her gross guy friend looks at the children from inside the gate and the gate was open btw. He then proceeds to 'jokingly' say "Let's go in and molest children" and she fucking laughs??????? A few hours pass by, he has class but we had an empty period so we were walking by ourselves right and we pass by the same place we passed by multiple times already and she makes a similar pedo joke. Mind you before the guy made that 'joke' not once did she think to make such a remark but now ig it became a hot topic for her. I didn't laugh because wtf is funny about insinuating you want to molest children?! And she has the audacity to make me feel crazy about it and I kid you not as a defense, she says "Well maybe pedo jokes are classy when men do them but trashy when women do" excuse me???? Like I'm not the one being a stuck up. This is seriously weird, right?

3- She befriends these weird ass men and Idek where she's finding them at this point and y'k when you try and advice her about their predatory and toxic behavior, she just says she's open minded and can take a joke..?

4- Idk if I'm sensitive but it felt like she was treating me like ass for no reason at times. Like when she's going through something, she doesn't talk about it, she just lashes out on you and start calling you names. She had a 3 day period I believe of which she'd hang out with me alright but she just keeps name calling me and telling me to shut up each time I speak which is very confusing cause she's condenseding about it too. Also whenever her guy friend is there, it's like I'm not even there? Like Idk if it's just that I'm not used to hanging out around men in general so I was reading too much into it but it doesn't feel like it. Like if he's there, she couldn't care less if you're there or not and she'd become cold and distant in a weird way unlike her usual shelf. Almost feels like I'm just backup option for the dude since he skips pretty often.

5- We were in the same lab group during semester one and she barely did any of the work. And even when I confront her about it, she'd just delay it till it's too late and make up some ridiculous excuse or once she lied about being sick just so she wouldn't do it and I'd wind up doing it.

I could go on and on. It's just that everyone in class seems perfectly okay with her and now I look like the asshole to her and her friends cause she's popular in class while I'm just barely able to make any friendships that aren't just using me for studying. Her friends kept looking at me weird too after I distanced myself. Which is okay maybe I distanced myself the wrong way, I'm not very confrontational so I basically just ran away whenever she was there and came up with some shallow excuse for it.

Am I the asshole for not being friends with her anymore for these reasons? Am I a stuck up?

Posted Jul 19, 2025, 7:48 PM UTC

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