SDE3 at MNC, struggling to keep up mentally - is this normal/tips needed?

Hey folks, I’m working as an SDE3 at a well-known MNC, and lately (or maybe for a long time now), I’ve been facing some challenges that I can’t quite wrap my head around. I’ll try to list a few examples — not sure if they’re all connected or not.

1. Meetings go over my head: In group meetings or even 1:1s, I often struggle to understand things in real-time. Be it logic, design discussions, or even simple concepts — it just doesn’t click. I usually have to rewatch recordings or read docs multiple times before it starts making sense. This means what could’ve been an hour of work takes me 3–4 hours. And since I’m so lost during meetings, I hesitate to ask questions — because the basics aren’t clear to me in the first place.

2. Mind blank while reading or listening: Sometimes I realize I’ve read a full page or listened to 10 minutes of a recording but absorbed absolutely nothing. I zone out or mechanically read without grasping. Then I rewind and try again. This happens often.

3. Revisiting known topics repeatedly: Even if I’ve read or worked on a topic (like OAuth), I find myself revisiting it multiple times. I know I’ve read this before, but it doesn’t feel like it’s “stuck” in my head or easily relatable when I actually need it.

4. Over-adapting, lack of initiative: I tend to adapt quickly to whatever the team/process/environment is — which sounds good — but I realize I rarely challenge things or bring improvements. Same in personal life: friends and roommates often say I’m chill to live with, but it’s because I rarely assert preferences.

5. Writing issues since childhood: This may be unrelated, but since childhood, I’ve had issues while writing — not stammering while speaking, but I mess up words while writing every few words. I managed it by writing slowly, but it still happens sometimes. Not sure if this connects to anything else or is just a random quirk.

All of this makes me wonder — is this something every engineer goes through and I just need to upskill harder? Or could this be something like ADHD or a learning-related issue? I don’t want to self-diagnose but I’m genuinely curious if others have been through this or have any advice.

I want to continue growing as an individual contributor and would love any kind of help, tips, or even reassurance if this is normal.

Thanks in advance.