How many of you had to hit Rock Bottom before you realized something was up?

I've made posts about my ex before. I have no ill will towards her. Sure she hurt me ALOT at the end, but I remember the 8 months of good times, versus the last two weeks that turned abusive. Don't get me wrong, I still have to get over my fear of her and I needed therapy, but I realized shes also in mental anguish.

What I don't understand is that she thought she had a good handle on her BPD, it wasn't until after she broke up with me over text and I had a mental breakdown and our friends chewed her out for her abuse that she was like 'Oh crap....I did all that?'

Then she had a lot more negative events happen to her after the breakup, and I get told by our friends 'She realizes what she did, and she's finally seeking help.'

What I DON'T understand is why did it have to go so far? Why did she have to go through so much pain to realize 'This condition is hurting me and everyone around me?'

Did anyone else have a moment like that?