My (25F) husband (29M) is constantly changing his core values and expecting our family to follow

Seeking Advice

My husband is constantly changing his politics, religious views, and other world views and making our lives very inconsistent. He’s atheist, then buddhist, then Christian, then Muslim, then atheist again. He’s vegan, and then he wants to move to the country and raise chickens, and then is vegan again. He’s socialist and then libertarian; he’s left, then right, then left again. He also follows and idolizes people online who promote extreme ways of living, like Dave Ramsey and Brian Johnson. And l’ll be honest, I find the ability to change one’s mind when presented with new information an extremely attractive trait. But, this is not the type of change that comes with normal maturity, experience, and personal growth. It’s a complete identity change, every time, and it always happens just randomly overnight. It seems like every six months to a year, he has some epiphany and suddenly changes our lives over it. He’s had us join a church, where our 2-year-old son and I both made so many friends, and then stop going after a few months because suddenly he doesn’t believe anymore. He’s had us throw away all of the food in our home that contains sugar, and then bought skittles a few days later. He’s had us move to a different state, and then just months later tried to make us move again because he decided he doesn’t like it here (but I put my foot down and said that he is not going to move us out of state again). I cannot deal with the constant drastic changes anymore. Last night, we watched the movie Captain Fantastic, which is about a dad who is raising his 6 kids completely feral, teaching them how to fight with knives, hunt for their food, etc., and he was making comments like “this is how I want our kids to be raised” and I just felt angry, exhausted, and hopeless. And he was completely serious. I don’t want our children to be confused because he teaches them contradicting values. I’m 8 months pregnant with our second, and I need him to stop. And it’s never a subtle change; it’s always one extreme to the other. I need help understanding why he does this. Is it a need for attention? He is diagnosed with ADHD, and he was on prescription adderall for many years, but he doesn’t take it anymore. I don’t know if this is a symptom of unmanaged ADHD. What am I supposed to do?

Apologies if this is not concisely written. My pregnancy brain is too scrambled.

Posted Jul 19, 2025, 7:51 PM UTC

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