Forgive me mi amor

I wanted answers, some type of closure. A reason that’ll make this all make sense. I’m learning, however, people leave because of who they are, not me. Besides, no explanation will fix the fact you left. By no means am I blaming you, people come and they go. I can’t be mad at myself for believing you when you said you love me and you’d never leave. I’m sure you meant it up until the end. It’s hard letting myself grieve because of all the physical pain and emotional suffering. That’s why I reached out to you on an account without telling you it was me. I’m sorry for that. Please forgive me and just know I do all this because I want you back. It doesn’t make it right, but I can’t seem to let go and move on the way you did so easily. There was a time I was stuck on how you moved on so easily; did it mean you found someone else? Did it mean you never loved me? Now, I know better than to cause myself angst over that. If I could go back with my maturity and insight now and be a better partner, I would in a heartbeat. If you still love me and want me, I’m here for you. Until then, I’m starting to move on. Forgive my mistakes in breaking no contact. There’s a part of me that still wants to believe you’re still who I fell for. Thank you for everything. It’s about time I stopped begging and realizing that if you loved me, you would’ve handled things better. Again, I don’t blame you. I forgive you. I know how hard things are. I’m not trying to be ignorant. I just don’t understand your behavior because I’d never do that. I need to move on now. There’s someone out there for me, I just wish it was you. A part of me still thinks it is you.