My father won't stop reminding me how grateful I should be to him for homeschooling me!

So, today was going totally fine. I was feeling okay, minding my own business, just sitting in a room. But of course, my father couldn’t let that happen. It's like the moment I seem even slightly fine, he has to step in and ruin it — because God forbid I feel normal for a second.

He was watching some random YouTube video in the same room, and the guy in it made a joke — literally just a lighthearted joke — about how school buses have to force kids to go to school. But my dad just had to turn it into some weird, passive-aggressive comment about me, like “See? Even this guy says kids have to be forced to go. You should be grateful.” The usual thing he loves to keep telling so he can win the best Parent in the world award in his mind.

I know I sound dramatic and I am overreacting, but it seriously messes with my head. I try so hard to forget how isolating and miserable my homeschooling experience and my whole childhood in general was. I try to forgive, to let things go, to not hold onto bitterness — but he keeps bringing it all back. Every time. And I’m so tired of it.

It’s not just the taunting — it’s the denial. The way he constantly acts like I should be thankful for how I was raised, like I somehow got lucky. Meanwhile, in that same video, the guy’s daughter — who looked about 14 or 15 — was joking around, telling her dad she wanted ice cream. She seemed happy. She was talking to him, openly and comfortably.

I never had that. Not even close. Even when I was 8 or 9, I knew I couldn’t talk to my dad about anything except what he wants to hear or he will like to hear. I wasn’t important enough. I stayed quiet, because deep down I knew he didn’t really care. And he never noticed how silent I was — but now he notices every little thing I do just to use it against me.

It hurts. And yeah, maybe it's a small moment but when you've spent your whole childhood being emotionally ignored or mocked, these "little things" stick.

I just wish he'd stop pretending like he did everything right. I’m just trying to live. Why does he have to ruin even that? Literally don't accept that you did anything wrong it's fine consider yourself the best parent but why keep reminding me of it??